Raw

Five Stages. Denial.  Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.

Raw

Denial.
Maybe it was all a dream
When I get home
You’ll be there waiting for me
Blocking my way in the door
Until I give you a hug

Anger
Dammit you’re not here.
Why were you taken from me
Why do other dogs live longer
It’s not fair
I want to slam the door
Kick the table
Throw a shoe

Bargaining – Guilt
There were earlier signs
I remember wondering about them
Thinking you were acting strange
Why didn’t I check it out
If only I caught it sooner
It’s all my fault
Why didn’t I question those signs
If only . . .

Denial
I can’t believe you’re not here
I keep expecting
To see you around every corner
I heard the noise you used to make
When you plopped down on the floor
I thought you were there
Why can’t I see you anymore

Depression
My heart sinks into my gut
When I grasp the reality
I’ll never see you again
In this life
Never touch you
Never hug you
Never get kisses
Tears start and don’t stop
You can’t plug my leaks

Acceptance
It doesn’t come
It took three years
The last time

Depression
Laughing is fake
Nothing feels good
Nothing tastes good
Mornings revolved around you
No reason to wake up

Anger
Why did you leave me
Look what it’s doing to me
How am I supposed to move on
I cuss at this outcome
I punch the air

Bargaining – Guilt
It’s my fault
I should’ve known
If only I had known
It could’ve turned out differently

Depression
Even if I knew sooner
It might not have saved you
You had to leave me eventually
The pain cuts so deep
All I think about is you
All I want to do is talk about you
I just want to be left alone
So I can sit in the dark
and cry

Raw emotions
Flood my being
Raw emotions
Written down