life, writing

Don’t Blame it on Fifty Shades

beach chairs wm

Since I do not have any photos to match this particular tale I have tell, I’ve thrown in a few sunny Florida pics to warm up you northerners as you read along.

So, reading and writing erotica is all the rage. I’d like to blame it on Fifty Shades of Gray, but sex has always been a big seller. The porn industry seems to do pretty well. Of course, I wouldn’t know. I’m an old-fashioned, all-American, girl with a tinge of loudmouth-Italian-attitude around the edges. In one of my earliest blog posts, I wrote about being labeled the goody-goody in my circle. While I enjoy a good dirty joke, writing a serious, detailed sex scene is something I struggle with as an author.

If I were to be true to myself, I would not write them. It became apparent I wasn’t being true to myself, when I tried to write such scenes in my latest WIP. Not good. As a result, I decided to take an online course on how to write erotica. When I tried to sign up, the class was sold out (what a surprise!). 

It turned out that one of the authors in my writer’s group had already signed up. She (Miss M) agreed to send the lessons to me and the rest of our group members in PDF form. 

I must digress a moment and explain, that at the time, our writers group consisted of three women and one man (Mr. D). 

distant skyline wm

Back to the story. 

Our helpful Miss M, invited us all to have a critique meeting at her home one evening. None of us had been to her house before and we needed directions.

Miss M sent us a group email with the directions to her house in the body of the letter. There had been three previous writing-erotica lessons, and the last one was attached to the email with the directions. 

It so happened that Mr. D’s wife came across his email box after the letter was sent. She read this subject heading: 

Last Erotica Lesson, Directions to My House, from Miss M

It took a bit of explaining, to say the least.

Moral of the story, always be true to yourself.

Alternative moral of the story, get a GPS.

sunset 4 wm


32 thoughts on “Don’t Blame it on Fifty Shades”

  1. I, too, have been struggling with knowing certain people will read certain scenes in my MS. And mine are very PG. For me, it was easier to go modest and let the reader form the picture in their own mind instead of me telling them. Good luck!


    1. Thanks for your input, Angela. I’m pretty sure I’m making mine PG too. It’s all written and I’m editing now, so it will edit where I leave it to the reader’s imagination. I’m glad I’m not the only one. Thanks for letting me know.


    1. I know what would’ve gone through my mind had I read that on my husband’s email. Poor Mrs. D. I’ve given up writing such scenes. 🙂 Always good to see you, Terri.


    1. “Eww” is right. I don’t have to worry about any kids, and I still don’t want to write sex scenes. But, don’t like the idea of Mom & Dad reading any of those types of scenes I might’ve written. Doubt it’s going to happen.


  2. Too funny. Real life comes up with the best storylines. I’m not sure how I’d fare in a writing-erotica group. I imagine it would be like one of those awful ‘spice up your love life parties’ from the ’90s… could be still happening now but reluctantly attending one was more than enough… where you just don’t know where to look.


    1. Not been to (or heard of) one of those 90’s parties. Yikes! I’d have been young enough to enjoy it back in that decade. Heh. My writer’s group doesn’t write erotica. We write all different kinds of genres, memoir, romance, fantasy, family drama, mystery, thriller, etc. It just so happens that once in a while a love/sex scene is needed for the romance writers. I giggle like a pre-teen when we critique those. Heh. Thanks for reading and commenting, EllaDee.


  3. That is too funny! There’s a sitcom episode just waiting to be written in there. I can’t write sex scenes, either. They’re just not me. I set up the scene and then fade to black. If there’s one activity that all humans are good at imagining it’s sex. I figure readers can take my clues and fill in the rest as they please. 😉


  4. Oh my, that’s quite an email to find! I doubt there will ever be erotic scenes in any of my books. Just not my style. And I’m sure my readers will be grateful for that…


  5. I have an ex colleague – she make mega bucks on here .. erotic novels – she has been writing for years now and been on TV – haven’t read any of them .. so there is money to make for sure.
    I don’t like porn movies .. but I’m quite a big fan of erotic movies, where I’m allowed to use my own imagination and the same with books, I don’t like the vulgarity in porn.
    Great story .. and so funny. Get the GPS out in the future. And I hope that Mr M … believed the explanation he got.


    1. Still can’t bring myself to write such scenes. I feel like a voyeur. I just can’t go against my nature. Mr. M’s wife did believe the explanation. But, he didn’t tell us how long it took to convince her. Hee, hee.


      1. Okay … it was the other way around .. that he had to explain for his wife. *smile

        Give it a go … rent a exotic novel from the library and take ideas from that. You will get over your nature … if it brings in money. *smile It doesn’t have to down to the small details – let the readers use their imagination.


    1. When the man involved told us about it, he laughed. But, of course, that was after he finally got his wife convinced that he wasn’t up to no good.


    1. Couldn’t end up writing erotic scenes. It’s just not in my nature. Feels too much like a voyeur. But, this story that happened to our writer’s group still gets us laughing when we speak of it.


  6. Imagination is a wonderful thing. Play the scene over and over in your mind until you get it where you want it, the let your words describe what you are seeing. I’ve written some such scenes and found my readers quite responsive.


    1. This situation taught me (and other hints from the universe), that it’s just not who I am, and not to go against my own nature. I feel like a voyeur. It’s just not me. But, it was a hilarious situation for our writer’s group that had us laughing for days.


    1. *Blushing* No way. You should’ve seen me when I first had to critique (out loud) a love scene in a romance novel in my writer’s group. Heh. Everyone teased me for turning red as I sank under the table. Over time, I got used to it (critiquing love scenes). But, writing it myself, don’t think it’s going to happen.


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