Useless

Back in June, I posted on the topic of friendship. More specifically about women’s friendships, though I’m curious about men’s friendships, too (and would love their input if they read this).

I mentioned how difficult it is to make new friends at my older age. Since then, I decided to join an over-50 women’s get-together group on facebook.

Seriously, what has gotten into this world? I know we’re all from different generations, but I don’t remember my grandmothers behaving like those women on facebook.

My Grandma

Here’s my experience with and observations of the group.

First, women from all over the world are in the group. If you’d like to meet some of them in person, it’s difficult to find someone to “get together” with that is local.

Second, people who newly join, introduce themselves. I introduced myself twice and didn’t get one single response.

Third, I decided to read some of the conversations in the group to see if I could join one and meet people that way. Many of the conversations were divorced women over the age of fifty complaining about men. Either that, or they were whining about what they called an abusive husband they’d been married to for thirty years  . . .  and are still married!

I came across one woman who said she tried making get-together plans with a couple of women who never followed through.

I understand there are apps for people to meet friends similar to dating apps. Could I put in a criteria? Because, seriously, if I met up with someone who all they did was complain about men, I’d have to walk right out in the middle of a conversation.

Maybe I’m too picky. Sure, I’d like a friend who I can confide in and vent to on frustrating days (and vice versa). But constant man-hating is not my thing. I love men. In fact, I’m starting to wonder if I get along better with men.

Here are three criteria I’d absolutely need in friends. 1) I’d like them to have similar values. I mean, they wouldn’t have to be exactly the same, but would at least have to have integrity. You know, mean what they say and say what they mean. 2) I’d really like us to have the same sense of humor so we could laugh together. Humor and laughter is very important to me. This would also mean they can’t be easily offended. These days, humor seems to be dying out because of “the offended.” 3) I’d need to be able to trust them, and that sort of goes back to values and integrity.

I get along with my blogging friends, most of whom live in different states and even countries.

In the end, it turned out to be a useless Facebook group.

If any men read this, are you able to sustain male friendships? Men’s friendships seem so much easier. Not so many complications or as much drama as women.