life, thoughts

Observing Self

Lori

How good are you at observing?

Bear with me, as I’m going deep today, and I’d love input on this topic.

I’ve mentioned before that as an empath, I feel other peoples’ energies. But that doesn’t tell me everything about them.

Here’s an example: someone I met about a year ago was friendly and outgoing on the outside, yet I could feel a hardened bitterness coming from her energy.

However, I don’t go by energy alone, because it could’ve been just an off day for her. Over time, I observe body language, word usage, tone of voice, and facial expression. I match that with the initial energy I feel when I first meet someone.

I had occasional contact with her, and I noticed stiff body language along with some unfeeling comments, which confirmed the initial hardened energy I felt. At the same time, she was genuinely welcoming and personable. Of course, it is possible for someone to be both.

This is a neutral observation; I’m not judging. I just happen to notice things in people that I keep to myself, because it’s none of my business. We each have our own backgrounds and histories that make us who we are, and I haven’t walked in that woman’s shoes.

Now, you’d think because of my observing ability, I’d be able to step outside myself and make an outer observation of me.

Umm, nope.

I’ve been digging deep into myself lately, mentally and spiritually. I’ve also been reading helpful material. One of the suggestions was to observe my own thoughts and feelings as if observing someone else—make a neutral observation without judgment. I’m to watch my own emotions from outside of myself without getting attached.

I haven’t been able to master that. How do I observe myself with clarity—neutrally—without judgment? I have walked in my shoes, and I’m emotionally involved.

I’m curious if anyone else has ever done this with observing themselves, and if not, do you think you could?

 

 

 

 

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Published by Lori

Observer, thinker, learner, analyzer, and author. Enjoy cooking, photographing, laughing, and spiritual centering.

14 thoughts on “Observing Self”

  1. Well, I can say that I’ve been going through a lot of changes since my late husband passed – many spiritual things, and have had to navigate lots of things – not just his loss but things that I’ve experienced in my life that I never really dealt with in the moment, just set aside. I have learned that journaling has helped me tremendously. Being able to write down my thoughts, and then actually see them. has helped me understand why I do or think things the way I do. It has helped me see my process, and the “so how’d that work out for ya” reality check. That has helped me learn to navigate going forward. That is probably as close as I will get to “outer observation.”

    Also, and this is one of my weirds, I name my journals. It makes me feel like I’m actually having a conversation with someone like a penpal, and then kind of see things from “their” point of view. “Oh, so-and-so is going to think I’m such a jerk for this!” I know it’s goofy, but I could never get past “Dear Diary.”

    Good luck with your search! Keep digging – you will find gold at the bottom. ❤

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    1. Thanks for sharing about your journaling, Vanessa. I tend to journal too, but not regularly. I’ve told myself many times to look back at old entries to see how far I’ve come. I haven’t done it yet. I think I’m worried I’ll find that I’m still stuck! I like your method though. I can see how it can be useful.

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  2. G.I. Gurdjieff taught that self-observation is a fundamental practice for achieving self-awareness and spiritual growth. He believed that most people live their lives on autopilot, driven by unconscious habits and conditioned responses. Self-observation involves turning a portion of one’s attention inward to observe one’s own thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behaviors.
    Gurdjieff emphasized the importance of impartiality in self-observation, meaning that one should observe oneself without judgment or evaluation. He also stressed the need for consistency, as self-observation should be a continuous practice, not just an occasional activity. One way to help is to set a random alarm. When the alarm goes off, you bring your attention back to observing yourself.

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  3. I think although we judge other people, we’re often the worst judge of ourselves, so it’s very difficult to observe ourselves neutrally. I have tried at times to treat myself with compassion – to recognise that I am trying my best at life and that is enough, but it is hard to distance yourself from your self!

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  4. It’s difficult to be neutral about ourselves because nature has selected for us not to be. We’re supposed to give ourselves, our families and our communities a pass and additionally, we’re intimately knowledgeable and understanding of why we’re thinking in a particular way.

    I used to be a professional mediator (haven’t practised for a long time now) and was taught to be dispassionate in my thinking around controversy or disagreement but it’s a “muscle” that needs a lot of tending and is very difficult to maintain. It really only works well when you have no skin in the game.

    Interesting post. Cheers.

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    1. Hi Lynette. Thanks for sharing that you used to be a mediator. From what I know of you, it seems like it suits you. That’s a profession I think I’d be interested in, too. Sounds interesting.

      As far as being objective about ourselves, I think it’s safe to say that as we grow up, we get defined by our environments and the people around us. The thoughts we think may revolve around that conditioning. I’m going to keep practicing observing from a far and see if I can see myself outside of that conditioning. It’s worth a try. 🤷‍♀️

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  5. I don’t think I can be objective about myself. I know why I am the way I am and that slants things. I am always curious what other people see though. I may be harder on myself that others because I know more.

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  6. It’s good to do some introspection once in a while, but I think most people know themselves quite well. There are always (perceived) flaws that other people may notice about us that we brush away if we think we can live those flaws and possibly work on changing them in our own good time. I think it’s okay to be different as long as it doesn’t hurt someone else.

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    1. Hi Anneli. Thanks for your input. This introspection I’m talking about is a detached one. I was told by someone to observe my own thoughts as if they were a newsfeed scroll on the bottom of a news program. I’ve tried, but so far, it’s a no go. 🤷‍♀️

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