Every time I think I know who I am, life throws me a curveball and I’m whacked up side the head.
Over the last few weeks, a series of events have occurred that have caused me to question everything about myself once again.It all starts when someone does something that hits a sore spot. At least that’s the way it works for me. I start out upset at the person who did that “something,” and then realize I need to figure out why it triggered me to become emotional. Usually, I find that issues have been percolating within me that I hadn’t addressed along the way. By the time I react emotionally, the pot is boiling over. It’s not so much about the person or the incident that occurs but more about that sore spot within.
Though I’ve been emotional over this latest inner battle, it’s all a fascinating process for me. This life is truly a series of ups and downs which give us the opportunity to find joy. To find faith. To find peace.
Sometimes people don’t know they have triggers that hit something they need to take a look at. This is what happens to the characters in my newly published novel, Through His Disciples’ Eyes. The question is, do they ever look within to figure out the cause of their triggers and work to find peace?
I relate to being filled with doubts when you thought you had things pulled together. No words of advice, just kind thoughts headed your way.
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Hi Ally. Thank you for the kind thoughts and for sharing your own experience with doubts. We learn from those experiences that, like in times before, things pull together again eventually. Blessings to you. ๐น
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Lori, I’m sorry you have had some upsets these past few weeks – it can be horrid to start questioning things you thought were settled within yourself and others. I used to imagine that as I grew older these moments would cease, that I would have everything sorted out but then realised maybe the questioning is a way to find a new foundation during different stages of our lives. That our response to issues changes as our experiences expand, as our wisdom and patience develop. Does all this make any sense?
From your linked post you explain how you have many books you could write on this subject and obviously did just that with ‘Through His Disciples’ Eyes’. I hope that was a form of cathartic and healing writing?
One paragraph from the other post stands out and I wish many more of us would do this:
‘Every morning we wake up inside ourselves, which means that ultimately, itโs ourselves we have to face. Perhaps, if people stopped looking out and started looking in, they may just dig deep enough to find their soul where there is peace and compassion.’
Sending much love & hugs xx
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Hi Annika. Your comment is so thoughtful and compassionate. And yes, it all makes perfect sense. In fact, it’s as if you read my mind!! You said, “…maybe the questioning is a way to find a new foundation during different stages of our lives.” This is exactly what I’m dealing with right now. My age just crept up on me. A series of things occurred that made me realize I can’t do many of the things I used to do. I’m just trying to figure which I can still do and what changes to make. I’m not liking this stage of life, but slowly (very slowly) I’m coming into acceptance.
The characters in “Through His Disciples’ Eyes,” have entirely different emotional problems than I, but the spiritual principles that come to light gradually throughout the story (which grow more profound in Julia’s story) are ones I hold dear to get me through.
You are such a kind person, my friend. Sometimes I wish I could give you a hug. Sending one through cyberspace and across the pond. ๐ค
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I agree. That still happens to me too, Lori, although less often now than when I was younger (even 5 or 10 years ago). There are always surprises! Cheers.
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Hi Lynette. You’re right, it does happen less often as we mature, but somehow certain things have a way of surprisingly returning. Thank you for sharing your experience. Blessings to you. ๐
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Your character development in this book is really good, Lori. Makes it an enjoyable read.
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Thank you, Anneli. ๐
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