“How can you lose something you’re still capable of giving? How can you fail if you haven’t stopped trying? And how can you miss as long as you’re still aiming?”
~ Mike Dooley, The Complete Notes from the Universe.
This was going to be one of my Friday quotes where I don’t give commentary. Since this one has questions, I thought it might be fun to discuss them.
The quote reminds me of when my first dog, Piezon passed away (spelled Paesano in Italian – roughly means “friend.”). I was severely grieving and found support on a pet loss message board. I stayed there for years after Piezon died to support other mourners as well. Some of them didn’t believe pets went to an afterlife and were devastated. They couldn’t cope.
I asked them, if they still felt the love for their pet after s/he died just as much as before? When they replied, yes, I asked, “why doesn’t the love die with them?”
In their silence, I answered, “Because love never dies.”
Love is eternal.
So no matter what someone believes about an afterlife, the pet lives on because the love is still there.
This takes me back to the question in the quote, “How can you lose something you’re still capable of giving?” You can’t lose love, because you’re always capable of giving it.
I’m currently working on getting my next book published, and one of the messages in the plot is to love yourself. This isn’t always as easy as loving our pets. Most of us aren’t even aware when we’re judging ourselves. It seems to come automatically, perhaps from something learned when growing up.
You can see the lack of self-worth by the way society treats one another these days. People like to make it sound like they love themselves when they share their virtue by supporting the latest societal cause for “the greater good.” Then they dehumanize those who don’t follow along with the “cause.”
The political divide seems unbridgeable. Could the virtue signaling help people feel better about themselves? Does it quiet their inner critics? Could it be that when they dehumanize others they’re really projecting their own unresolved issues outwardly?
I don’t know. 🤷♀️ I’m just asking questions. I admit that my own harsh inner critic has projected outward on occasion.
Have you been hard on yourself? Do you understand that you can’t fail? Do you realize that as long as you’re still aiming, you haven’t missed?
Just like the love a person still feels for a pet after s/he’s gone, love is always accessible to give to yourself. The wellspring of love never runs out. You only need to reach inside.
Lori's Lane 
I agree that love never fails. I can’t help thinking of 1 Corinthians 13.
And yes, I have been very hard on myself. But good reminder that I’m still here and can try again.
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Hi Miss L. I can’t believe I just found that WordPress put this comment in spam. WTH?
Anyway, that bible chapter is a profound and moving one. My novel I was telling you about has two characters who do not love themselves. That chapter is perfect for what they come to learn.
Having said that, I think we’re all hard on ourselves at times, and you’re right, we can always change our mindset and try again. Thank you for reminding me of 1 Corinthians 13.
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It’s quite soul shattering to find that these political issues divide us so much. Many of us have lost longtime friends over it. I wouldn’t have believed it could happen, but the issues that divide us are quite extreme and suggest a complete change in our usual values and culture, and that makes it hard to accept another way to live. Those who advocate for extreme change are the ones who are driving the wedge between themselves and their friends. The old diehards who don’t want extreme change are in shock at what is happening to our countries (both Canada and the US). The left wants equality for everyone and on the surface that seems like a good thing, but it is equal opportunity that we should be striving for, and that is different from equality. Why should one person work hard, save their money, and then have to share it with someone who, having had the equal opportunity to work and save, didn’t bother to lift a finger? I think the left and the right political factions simply misunderstand each other.
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The division really is soul shattering, Anneli. I slightly disagree with one point. I think we used to simply misunderstand each other. Now I think there is genuine hatred from media exploiting those misunderstandings. Media does this by tweaking emotional wounds inside people. Instead of taking responsibility for their own hurts inside, people turn the hurt into anger because media is pouring salt into those wounds. People probably don’t even realize their emotions are being manipulated. They don’t feel loved, so they blame others and make demands. Love is the answer, and it starts with people loving themselves. Julia learned that lesson. 😉
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Yes, you’re so right.
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