In order to avoid my fate, I stopped living.
In the 1990’s when I went through infertility, I was lost and alone. I don’t know how I would’ve made it through if not for the support of a group of ladies I met online who were going through the same thing.
The desperation to experience childbirth and motherhood was overwhelming. I went through clinical treatments that weren’t working. I listened to the infertility “experts” and did everything they told me to do – pumping myself with extreme hormones to make nature work (👈 think about that).
I could tell stories about what the “experts” had me do, but it would include embarrassing personal details. I will say a couple of those things took away my dignity. When I questioned the “experts,” they demeaned me because I wasn’t the expert – they were. So, I did undignified things anyway. That’s how desperate I was.
One of the ladies in our support group of women who struggled with infertility retrospected and said – “If the experts would’ve told me there is one sure-fire way you can get pregnant. We can remove your left arm and reattach it to your forehead, I would’ve done it.”
We trusted the “experts” and were making decisions based on emotion. Pumping our bodies with hormones without knowing the long-term consequences certainly wasn’t making our bodies healthier.
In order to avoid the alternative…the thing I feared the most…never giving birth or raising those children I longed for…I stopped living my life and lived the life the “experts” offered me. And, it had all kinds of adverse side effects. It eventually led to a life-threatening health issue which caused me to stop doing the treatments.
The “experts’” medical advice never worked. All the undignified things I did…all the things I did which threatened my health…were useless. I had stopped living my own life because I thought the “experts” knew everything.
I’m not saying that the same procedures I had won’t work for others. They clearly have worked for many. The point is, we are each unique individuals with different body makeup and personalities. What works for one won’t necessarily work for another.
How far was I willing to go from the “experts'” advice?
Society has reduced itself to doing what “experts” tell us to do. The same thing is happening that happened to me – it’s not working – no one knows the long term consequences – there are all kinds of adverse side effects. People do it anyway, basing their decisions on emotion. Those who question the “scientific experts” are being shamed in an even worse way than I was demeaned for questioning the infertility “experts.”
Some might say we need to stop living our normal lives, not for ourselves, but to care about others. It baffles me that people think if they do what they’re told by “experts,” they can control the outcomes for others. I couldn’t even control my own outcome by listening to “experts.”
From my experience, I learned that just because we’re told someone is an “expert” doesn’t mean they are infallible. Many of the “experts” play on emotions, especially fear, for their own benefit. We’re individuals each uniquely made, and it’s not one size fits all. “Experts” don’t know what’s best for us. We do.
At least I had a choice whether to follow “experts'” advice when I went through infertility treatments. It wouldn’t be so bad if we were each given a choice as individuals to do what is best for us. Unfortunately, we’re being shamed, livelihoods taken away, and in some cases arrested if we don’t all conform and stop living our lives to avoid our impending doom because “experts” said so.
I learned my lesson after the hormones caused a life-threatening health issue. How far will society go to learn a lesson?
Would society detach an arm and reattach it to their forehead if “experts” told them it would stop the spread of a virus? Or, stop climate change aka global warming? How about wearing one of these – the latest thing to “stop the spread?” How bout wearing an emblem on our arms or implanting a chip to prove we’re listening to the “science experts?”
In order to avoid dying…society has stopped living.