Welcome folks. It’s been a while since I posted something, and I’ve had some deep thoughts I want to share.So much has been happening in our society in 2020, and reports everywhere make it sound like the sky is falling. It’s difficult to decipher what is true and what is false. Is this more “chicken little” paranoia, or are we really getting toppled by the falling sky?
Why is it that some people feel they can control everything? From celebrities defying the aging process, to the weather, to a virus, to human behavior—at times it seems like certain folks think they can cheat death itself. Why do they believe they can bend everything to their will?
In my novel, Whit’s End, I show how the characters struggle with the human issue of control. I believe, control (due to fear) is at the core of all of society’s upheaval, and it’s why I write about it.
There was a time that I wanted to control everyone and everything around me. One example of my control issues was trying to get the people in my life to behave in the way I thought was best for our relationships. Can you imagine how much friction and turmoil that created in my life? Wanting to force people to behave the way I thought they should? I had to face that my problems in life stemmed from trying to control things that were out of my control.
Another example was my battle with infertility. The keyword there is “battle,” because when we’re trying to control an outcome that won’t go our way, it’s a battle. I was befuddled, angry and depressed that my body was not going with the flow of nature. I was determined to experience childbirth and motherhood. I tried to force it by pumping inordinate amounts of hormones into my body that eventually landed me in excruciating pain and temporarily bedridden. My misery didn’t dissipate until I stopped trying to control the outcome.
Let go and let God has become a cliché that is no longer profound enough a saying to take seriously. This is also true of the Serenity Prayer. You know the one, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change . . .
Not only are those sayings now trite, but for many, there is no god. If they let go, what is there to trust in? They either need to take control over everything themselves, or place control of everything in the hands of a human authority they hope they can trust to do their will. Nature goes with the flow. Streams don’t try to flow upward. Chipmunks don’t try to be birds. Despite how many people think their dogs act like a human, dogs know their dogs. That idea is the human’s projection of their emotions onto the dog.
Here’s another example, after I said goodbye to my first dog, I joined a grief group. The people there were wonderfully supportive, and I couldn’t have gotten through it without them. As I progressed in my grief, I noticed a running theme with many of them. They seemed to think there was something they could’ve or should’ve done to prevent their pets’ deaths. I understand that guilt comes with grief, I felt it too, but as I grew out of that phase of the process, I noticed many got stuck there and couldn’t move. Quite a few of them believed they should’ve been able to control their pet’s life or death.
How does anyone step out of misery and fear, when they’re trying to control things that cannot be controlled?
Animals, plants, weather, all go with with the flow of what nature brings to them, and somehow their needs are taken care of while they’re alive. But like everything else in our material world, they appear to accept they don’t live forever.
Sometimes I slip back into wanting to control. These days I usually recognize it as soon as I see a battle beginning. That’s when I let go and go with the flow.
The more we try to control the outcome of every single incident that happens in our society, the tougher the battles become. That is what we’re seeing now . . . the battle for control. Strife, upheaval, and chaos will not cease until we examine this control issue and learn to live and let live.
“Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies . . . those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. They may be more likely to go to heaven, yet at the same time likelier to make a hell of earth. This very kindness stings with intolerable insult. To be “cured” against one’s will.” ~ CS Lewis