life, Pets

Confessions from Lock Down

I probably shouldn’t confess this out on a public forum, but here we go anyway . . .

I’ve sometimes thought of myself as a clean-freak. Dare I say, I was always a bit of a germophobe even before the virus. Over the last few months, I’ve discovered I’m not as clean as I had let myself believe.

When we had our dog, Max, I vacuumed a few times a week, sometimes every day. You’d think the house was cleaner since we said goodbye to him in January, but no. We’ve come to learn that the two of us humans are slobs. We may no longer have fur all over furniture, drool marks on the wood floors and nose art on windows, but now we keep finding food crumbs under the breakfast bar and on the kitchen floor. What the heck? Have we always been this sloppy with food?

Max wasn’t allowed in the kitchen, but now I know he snuck in when we weren’t looking. Not only have I learned that Max was a good crumb-cleaner, but I’m discovering how essential he was to my mental health.

Over the last few days, my emotions have been raw. Sometimes I feel like I’m going to jump out of my skin. I think the lock down and the news that comes with it is starting to get to me. What I would give to get a snuggle from my boy.His very presence in a room was calming. What I would give to walk down the street with him, his ears flopping as he trotted along side me. Somehow he knew how to trot even though I was only at a medium walk-pace.

Spring is popping up everywhere, and Max and I would’ve been sitting out on our new patio together while I wrote.

I miss the giggle he gave me when he’d roll around on the floor scratching his back and grumbling with relief. I miss the sound of the squeaky toy and him barking at it while it’s in his mouth, giving it a piece of his mind.

We had started arranging a travel plan after Max left. We discussed taking two vacation trips by the end of the year. We wanted to do this before bringing a new dog home. Then the virus hit. Now I’m not sure how I feel about travel for the rest of this year.

Stayed by Gary’s side on hospital bed

I’m also not ready to get a new dog. Max was such a well-behaved, obedient dog. The thought of starting from scratch again seems daunting right now. I’m too tired, not to mention, emotionally raw at this point in time. I’m pretty good with getting a dog trained, but I have to be mentally prepared. They really don’t respond well to a weak mind. I know. I’ve seen it happen.

So these are my confessions during a lock down. Just mostly missing my Max . . .

Would you like to confess anything during your lock down?

 

18 thoughts on “Confessions from Lock Down”

  1. Sorry to hear you lost Max earlier this year. He did sound like one obedient dog and was always there by your side when you needed it. He must have really loved those crumbs. This virus thing has certainly been unexpected and so many of us are in a different mind space – and a lot of us don’t know what to do. For me travel plans are also on hold and even if things look up, like you I’m not sure if I want to travel this year. Right now I’m trying to enjoy being at home as much as possible, telling myself I have it alright. As the others have said, we’ll all get through this. It’s just a matter of time, and a time to be kind to each other Hugs to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mabel, thank you for sharing a bit of your own thoughts and emotions about our predicament, while at the same time, acknowledging mine. This was beautifully and wisely put. I really appreciated your words. 💗

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Lori, Thank you for the smile on how Max was a good crumb-cleaner. And yes, on mental health. And I am nodding my head yes, “to be mentally prepared.” Confessing? Oh my goodness, where would I start? Both of my daughters have dogs and we are also getting virtual visits with them. It is not the same. We are all in this together. You are not alone. Hugs to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Erica. Yeah, I’m missing my snuggles from Max during this time stuck at home. Glad to know you are at least able to get virtual visits with your daughters, but no, it’s not the same as being in person.

      Thank you for your thoughtful, supportive comment. We’re all hanging in there.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Your confessions sound like my confessions. My guy and I have missed our dog Henry even more since this lockdown (and Henry’s been gone 5 years!) Our daughter and her family just brought home a new pup, and encouraged us to do the same. But like you, we don’t feel we have the energy for it, plus we had planned to travel more, plus Henry was so perfect… So, we’ll visit our daughter’s pup once visiting is allowed. Sending you a puppy hug.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re right, Pam, your confessions do sound like mine. Here’s to our sweet pups roaming free and not touched by this plague on their side of the veil. Thanks for the puppy hugs. Back ‘atcha. 💗

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    1. Hi Lynette. Those are the perfect words to describe this situation, “trying” and “wearying.” I have good days and bad regarding grieving Max. Yesterday was bad. I could’ve really used a snuggle from him. Thank you for your support. Yes, we’ll eventually get through this.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Jill. I didn’t sleep well last night due to the tooth issue and other health issues. I’m tired and wishing Max was here for a hug. Yea, I know we’ll get through this eventually. Thanks for your support. 💗

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  4. I am hitting the wall too. As an introvert, I’ve been surprised at how I miss human contact. Not the touchy stuff but being able to talk to someone without masks and closer then 6′. My old cat has been sick too so that doesn’t help. She is with a specialist today. I’m waiting for a call and this has to be the worst anxiety I’ve had in a long time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Kate. I think we need human contact/interaction by nature, introvert or not. I feel for you dealing with having a sick cat through this. It would be nerve racking even without the virus out there, but this situation makes it worse. I’m dealing with this tooth issue, and it’s making me more nervous than usual due to the virus as well.

      Hope all goes well with Mollie. 💗

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  5. Hi Lori
    I can only confess to enjoying not having to run around after other people, because we’re in lockdown so we can’t. I can also confess to probably enjoying my own company a lot!
    I’m so sorry about the loss of your beloved dog… they leave such a huge gap in our lives when they go. I can understand exactly how you feel about not being ready to have another dog in your life. Hopefully you won’t be like me and wait 10 years before you get another dog… I was so distraught at the loss of my rescue doberman cross it took me a long time before I was able to consider another dog in my life. How right you are about the training, too!
    This virus is bringing all sorts of things to the fore, so surreal at the moment. Hope you are doing as well as you can.
    Keep healthy and stay safe! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Bamberlamb. Like you, I’m used to it being just my husband and me. I’m just starting to go buggy with all the scary news. Not to mention, I had a tooth issue and had to go to the dentist, which has me concerned about the virus. The tooth still needs more work, but I’m trying to hold off for a while until more of this virus passes.

      I understand why you waited so long to get another fur-love. After our first dog, we waited almost two years to adopt Max. The timing has to work out right, so in the meantime, it’s tough being stuck in this house without him. Going for walks without him is so strange.

      Thank you for your kind words of support. Good luck to you with furlough. I wish you well and will keep a good thought that all will work out well with your job.

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  6. Dogs are such a big part of our lives! It’s like having kids (no offense to parents who don’t want to have their kids compared to dogs). I mean we love them and fuss over them, like we would with kids, and they love us back. I think they leave a big gap when they they are gone, but we will eventually fill that gap with other things, maybe not as satisfying, but it will get us through. These days with the virus changing everything we all have adjustments to make and there’s nothing to do but accept them and make them work for us. Hang in there, Lori. We are all going through these changes and we will come out all right.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Anneli. Between my sore tooth and stomach issues last night, I didn’t sleep at all. I’m tired, cranky and wishing Max was here for a hug. I know we’ll get through it eventually. Thank you for your kind words of support. 💗

      Liked by 1 person

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