life, thoughts

For Every Action . . .

I’m a little bummed and disappointed this week. Well, I should say first that I’m grateful my family and I are well. Also grateful my husband still has his job, but that may be reevaluated if we don’t get back to work by the end of this month. We’ll cross that bridge if we have to.For now, I’ve been introspecting…wondering how I could’ve done something differently.

Do people understand that what they say or do has consequences? Do they get the concept that for every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction?

I’m paying the consequences for something I said . . . or at least I think that’s why some people reacted. I’ve lost a few friends I’ve known since the 90’s.

A few years ago, I set up separate social media accounts away from friends for times I want to discuss politics. I do not post about politics on my personal (friends & family) account’s feed, although I have been known to comment on others’ political posts. I do not unfriend when they write rude political comments on social media, for two reasons: 1) I believe in free speech. 2) I care about my friends and don’t mind if they have different views.

We are living through a time of crisis, and it’s my belief we should be coming together like we did during the few days after 9/11. I’ve been disappointed in long time friends who feel the need to continue to spread anger and division. When I mentioned that very comment on my personal social media account, I lost a few friends. It wouldn’t be so hurtful if it were people I never met in person and only had brief interactions with on social media, but these were good friends.

So, it seems I’m paying the consequences of my actions, but do they realize that my comment was the consequence of their actions? Do they realize how petty it is to drop friends over a different view?

It appears they do mind my different view. I can tell you this, if any of the friends I’ve lost over politics wanted to restore our friendship, I’d welcome them with open, loving arms. I don’t get the feeling they’d do the same for me.

In the meantime, I broke a tooth. Due to the lock down, my dentist was closed last I heard, but I’m going to try calling after I finish this post.

Thanks for reading. Stay well everyone.

22 thoughts on “For Every Action . . .”

  1. This is such a timely post. I am sorry you lost your friends. I do not want this to happen to any of us! How can we grow up as a people and learn to accept differences? It sounds like you have a deep sense of how to do this, and I so admire that. Enjoying our conversation, Lori. It made my day special.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You just never know how someone will react if something hits a nerve with a view they have – I think also that emotions are heightened at the moment which means people might react in a more exaggerated way.

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    1. You’re right, emotions are running high, Andrea. I just wish we weren’t so divided and could unify during this crisis. Thanks for reading. Hope you are staying well.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. For me it depends on the opinion whether I would remain friends with someone or not. Shared values are important to me and there are some beliefs I am just not willing to accept.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Abbi. I think I’d agree that values and beliefs are important with a spouse. As far as friends, I like the diversity of thought. I think it’s important to keep minds open and learn from each other. Where we get into trouble is the self-righteousness and belittling of those with different ideals and opinions. Especially in times like these, where tolerance and unity would be beneficial. I guess those ex-friends of mine didn’t agree. 🤷‍♀️

      Hope you and Little and Big O are staying well.

      Like

    1. Hi Robin! I think media has trained many to take sides and remain divided.

      Good to hear from you. Seems like you are staying well. Thanks for stopping by. 😊

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  4. Sorry to hear about your tooth. Dental issues – yuck. I hate that! I hope you feel better soon.

    People should be able to agree to disagree. Politics and religion can become very heated topics and I think people can get very angry and hurt because they feel personally questioned. If they haven’t lasted with you through a disagreement, then maybe they weren’t real friends to start with.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good points, Lynette. I’ve also gotten angry and hurt because I’ve felt personally questioned. It seems some people think it’s okay to hurt others with their views but it’s not okay when someone responds in kind. It’s like I said, actions have consequences. So far, I’ve been able to forgive and move on, but it appears those ex-friends have not. 🤷‍♀️

      Thanks for the well wishes about my tooth. Dental issues are horrible under regular circumstances, and now we’ve got added stress with the virus.

      Stay well, Lynette.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Politics certainly reveal a person’s heart, doesn’t it, Lori? How is hating someone for their political beliefs any different than racism? I roll my eyes and tune out. I’m really sorry to hear about your tooth. I hope you’re able to get it taken care of soon.

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    1. So true, Jill, and people I thought were good friends won’t even give me the benefit of the doubt. Anyway, thanks about the tooth. Looks like I’m going into the dentist tomorrow. The hysteria about the virus has gotten me scared to do this, but I don’t want the pain to get worse. 🤷‍♀️

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I think you’ll be okay. I’m sure your dentist office will be taking extra precautions. When I think about it, it might be more safe now. I used to give my dentist a hard time for wanting to shake my hand during flu season. LOL!

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Remember, dentists were first to use those plastic face shields, gloves and goggles for doing dental work way before COVID-19. I share your concerns, though. Maybe you could ask the receptionist about the extra precautions they’re taking in light of COVID-19. Please let us know how you fare on this – teeth issues really can’t wait, COVID or not.

            Liked by 1 person

  6. I’ve had the same experience with longtime friends. If I don’t think like they do, I’m wrong and I’m the enemy. They are entitled to express their opinions in a hateful, hurtful way, but we should sit back and accept that and be quiet, because our differing views are (to their way of thinking) indefensible. And some of their social media comments are bullying and hateful – nothing to do with the issues; only to do with nasty ways of putting down people who have different opinions. I’m tired of being their target, but I can’t/won’t stoop to their low level of making hateful comments about politicians, although I could easily do that. I just don’t think it’s helpful in any way. So, Lori, you are not alone.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Like Jill said, politics sure does reveal a person’s heart. It’s true that they feel they can say whatever they want without repercussions. Yet if we respond or say anything we believe in, we’re the evil ones. I’ve written about the topic on self-awareness and introspection many times on my blog pretty much for this very reason. They seem to have no self-awareness how abrasive their behavior is, and yet they’re exhibiting the very behavior they accuse others of doing. 🤷‍♀️ It’s sad. If we can’t even stay connected with our friends, unity seems to be an impossible goal for a country and the world.

      Thank you for sharing your experience, Anneli.

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  7. Stay well Lori. I’ve been in your shoes. I have a very good friend I like very much (she’s American) and I don’t share her views on your current President. I try not to dabble in her posts regarding that nor do I comment on it anytime it’s political because I’m British anyway. I’ve argued with other friends on their political views and we leave it at that. I hope your friends will be back and if they don’t, life goes on. I hope the pandemic will be over soon. We’re having it pretty tough in England, but I have the opportunity to work from home. Stay safe Lori, and love and blessings to you.☺️

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    1. I’m glad to hear from you Seyi, and to hear you are doing well and are able to work from home.

      You have such a kind energy that comes through the computer screen. I’ve always known that you and I have different political views, but what matters to me is your kindness. I also know you are guided by faith, which is a warm quality. I don’t count political views as a reason or not to be friends with someone.

      Thank you for sharing your experience. Stay well. 💗

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