Last week I posted about how a couple of people have tried to rush me to get a new pet after saying goodbye to my beloved dog, Max. Today I’d like to discuss a topic that is related, but more about processing emotions in general.
You might say that those people think they’re trying to help by offering a new pet to stop me from hurting. That may be true, but in many cases, I think this goes even deeper.
Why does much of society think they can obliterate bad times altogether for humanity?
I’ve gotten the impression many believe they can make this world into a utopia. A place where no one ever gets hurt and everyone experiences uniform happiness and wealth.
I touched a little on this subject of making hurt go away, when I opened up about having struggled with infertility. While I grieved the loss of my fertility, I can’t tell you the amount of people who told me to either adopt a child or take anti-depressants.
I’m not going to lie, I did consider those things. Even while grieving Max, there have been a few times when I would’ve given anything to take away the guttural agony.
Let your experience be . . . Let it live inside you before you try to live out from it. ~ Paul Ferrini, Silence of the Heart
There are pills out there that can help get us through these tough times, but how did humanity do it when there were no pills? Parents lost children much more commonly in centuries past. That’s the worst kind of pain anyone can endure. How did they move forward without medication?
Don’t get me wrong, I understand that there are people with actual mental health conditions that need medication. But what about natural adversities that happen to everyone? Why do they happen in the first place? Could there be a method to the madness?
Pain and suffering are temporary. They touch every life at one time or another, but they are not constant companions. They are messengers. ~ Paul Ferrini, The Silence of the Heart
Going through my latest loss, there are moments I’ve questioned if I’d make it through. At times, I feel as if I might literally break into pieces. It’s hard, but I’m doing all I can to help myself through. I write out my emotions, and talk them out with people I trust. I pray and look for signs. When I need a break from the grief, I find distractions. I accept that this is natural and allow myself the emotions when they come. Most importantly, I remind myself that I’ve survived 100% of my past difficulties, and I will again.
When the clouds begin to clear from any adversity, and we’re stronger on our feet again, what was the purpose?
Love comes with hazards that can bring grief. Is love worth taking the chance?
Love is eternal in that it doesn’t die with someone when they’re gone. For me, this means they are still sending their love from somewhere.
I’d like to thank the DifferentShores blogger for sharing this quote with me about love. “It seems to me, that if we love, we grieve. That’s the deal. That’s the pact. Grief and love are forever intertwined. Grief is the terrible reminder of the depths of our love and, like love, grief is non-negotiable.” ~ Nick Cave.
I’ll end with this profound quote:
Ask yourself honestly: are you looking for a steady, predictable life? . . . If so, you must realize that the world cannot offer you this. Everything in the world is in the process of change. Nothing is steady. Nothing is predictable. Nothing will give you anything other than temporary security. Thoughts come and go. Relationships begin and end. Bodies are born and pass away. This is all the world can offer you: impermanence, growth, change. . . Stop imposing your expectations and interpretations on what happens. Just let life unfold and see what develops. ~ Paul Ferrini, Love Without Conditions and The Silence of the Heart