life, thoughts

Take a Pill

Last week I posted about how a couple of people have tried to rush me to get a new pet after saying goodbye to my beloved dog, Max. Today I’d like to discuss a topic that is related, but more about processing emotions in general.

You might say that those people think they’re trying to help by offering a new pet to stop me from hurting. That may be true, but in many cases, I think this goes even deeper.

Why does much of society think they can obliterate bad times altogether for humanity?

I’ve gotten the impression many believe they can make this world into a utopia. A place where no one ever gets hurt and everyone experiences uniform happiness and wealth.

Happy times with Max at the park.

I touched a little on this subject of making hurt go away, when I opened up about having struggled with infertility. While I grieved the loss of my fertility, I can’t tell you the amount of people who told me to either adopt a child or take anti-depressants.

I’m not going to lie, I did consider those things. Even while grieving Max, there have been a few times when I would’ve given anything to take away the guttural agony.

Let your experience be . . . Let it live inside you before you try to live out from it. ~ Paul Ferrini, Silence of the Heart

Pictures are screen shots from a video of Max playing. My blog doesn’t allow me to post my own videos.

There are pills out there that can help get us through these tough times, but how did humanity do it when there were no pills? Parents lost children much more commonly in centuries past. That’s the worst kind of pain anyone can endure. How did they move forward without medication?

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that there are people with actual mental health conditions that need medication. But what about natural adversities that happen to everyone? Why do they happen in the first place? Could there be a method to the madness?

Pain and suffering are temporary. They touch every life at one time or another, but they are not constant companions. They are messengers. ~ Paul Ferrini, The Silence of the Heart

Going through my latest loss, there are moments I’ve questioned if I’d make it through. At times, I feel as if I might literally break into pieces. It’s hard, but I’m doing all I can to help myself through. I write out my emotions, and talk them out with people I trust. I pray and look for signs. When I need a break from the grief, I find distractions. I accept that this is natural and allow myself the emotions when they come. Most importantly, I remind myself that I’ve survived 100% of my past difficulties, and I will again.

When the clouds begin to clear from any adversity, and we’re stronger on our feet again, what was the purpose?

Love comes with hazards that can bring grief. Is love worth taking the chance?

Yes, love is worth the risk.

Love is eternal in that it doesn’t die with someone when they’re gone. For me, this means they are still sending their love from somewhere.

I’d like to thank the DifferentShores blogger for sharing this quote with me about love. “It seems to me, that if we love, we grieve. That’s the deal. That’s the pact. Grief and love are forever intertwined. Grief is the terrible reminder of the depths of our love and, like love, grief is non-negotiable.” ~ Nick Cave.

I’ll end with this profound quote:

Ask yourself honestly: are you looking for a steady, predictable life? . . . If so, you must realize that the world cannot offer you this. Everything in the world is in the process of change. Nothing is steady. Nothing is predictable. Nothing will give you anything other than temporary security. Thoughts come and go. Relationships begin and end. Bodies are born and pass away. This is all the world can offer you: impermanence, growth, change. . . Stop imposing your expectations and interpretations on what happens. Just let life unfold and see what develops.  ~ Paul Ferrini, Love Without Conditions and The Silence of the Heart

19 thoughts on “Take a Pill”

    1. Thank you for such kind words John and Susan. I just hopped over to your blog and was thrilled to see you two taking fabulous adventures. The journeys for my blog go within, and I share what I learn with others. I live vicariously through travelers like you. Thank you again for your understanding and supportive words.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Teagan! I have a tendency to introspect and share my thoughts on my blog. Some people might call it “over thinking.” 😉 Thank you for healing thoughts and hugs. I’m home with a cold now, so that healing will come in double-handy.

      Like

  1. Lovely post and comments. I loved the photos. You write with great emotion and with that emotion, you ask questions that have different answers for different people.
    I do not know how one lives without love and with love comes loss and grief. In the silence, in the absence of the loved ones presence, clarity of our impermanent lives becomes clear. Although it is difficult to wrap our brain around death and the hereafter, trying is our only option.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lovely post Lori. I like “love is worth the risk”. I do see it now as a bargain you enter into: you can’t have joy and great love without pain. (PS read “Lost Dog”, the memoir by Kate Spicer if you can, it’s like a love story with her dog at the centre of it: she understands!)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh my, how heartbreaking to lose a child. I think with that kind of loss, over time, someone can adjust, but they’ll always have a bite of pain with them. My heart goes out to your colleague.

      I wished I could’ve shared that video of Max catching the stick, but I need to pay for a blog domain for that one. I did my best with the screen shots. Thanks for noticing. 🙂

      Like

    1. True, Abbi. There is a difference between getting sad from grieving a loss and being sad for no reason. Some people think they can’t get through grief without an aid, and I shared this to show people that it can be done. There is always something to learn.

      Thank you for sharing your experience.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. So true, Jill. God certainly is not opinionated. I also posted this for others, in case someone struggling reads it, to see they can get through adversity and maybe learn something from it.

      Like

  3. Lori hugs to you and you are so right no one has the right to tell you how or when to grieve. Everything happens for a reason turn it over to God he will give you the answers. Hugs to you

    Sent from my iPhone

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Cher.Maybe someone else will read this and see they can get through adversity on their own, and learn something, too.

      Thank you for your kind words. 💗

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Anneli. I’ve had these revelations before, and I thought I’d share them here for others as well. I’m reminded with each time I go through something. Maybe someone out there will read it and realize that adversity is inevitable, but is also overcome-able. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

Comments are closed.