life, Pets

A Decade that Hurts

Lori

On May 24, 2019, I received a notification that it was my tenth anniversary with WordPress.

But, hold on.

I have not been blogging for ten years. I’ve been blogging for seven and a half years.

So, why did I get a ten year anniversary notification?

Soon after I opened this blog account, a beloved family member got sick and died. At that time, blogging was the last thing on my mind. I didn’t care about anything anymore, and writing went out the window. The only words that popped out of me were poems about my grief. I opened this blog account and left it dormant for 2 1/2 years.

I won’t be around the internet this weekend to acknowledge this, so I’m doing it now. This coming Sunday, it will be the ten year anniversary of the loss of this amazing dog. I don’t want it to be ten years. It’s too far away from the last time I saw him. I keep wishing I had a new photo of him, but alas, memory making ended on June 9th, 2009.

Piezon (Italian spelling Paesano, loosely translated to “friend”) brought us back to life when we had no family or friends after we moved away. We even got him involved in an athletic activity called, flyball, which we called our Little League.

(Note: The brief video does not portray Piezon, but it’s an example of the dog teams racing at a flyball tournment. Piezon was good at it. I’d love for you to check it out. It’s under a minute.).

The WordPress notification reminded me it’s been ten long years without him. As I posted last year, I hate that my memories of him have faded.

As a puppy in the same spot in the yard as the above picture.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll never forget him. But, I wish I could remember clearly what it was like to have him beside me. Sometimes I need to compare Piezon and Max so I can decipher between their personalities and remember Piezon. He was always . . . and I mean always, happy. He couldn’t sit still, and that’s why we enrolled him in flyball. Max has subtle moods, and can relax like a Basset Hound.

Piezon racing at flyball

Despite those fading memories, the love I feel when I think of Piezon has not diminished in the least. To continue to feel that love means he lives on, I just can’t see him. I sure do miss his joy, though.

Piezon had such a huge impact on my life, and I like to set aside time to remember him every year on the date of his loss. This is a big anniversary number, so thank you for reading.

 

 

 

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Published by Lori

Observer, thinker, learner, analyzer, and author. Love dogs. Enjoy cooking, laughing and spiritual centering.

19 thoughts on “A Decade that Hurts”

  1. A very poignant post. I had Laddie for 12 years, a Samoyed weighing 120 lbs.
    My heart was broken without my Laddie and I cannot watch even the commercials about dogs that are suffering.
    I grieve that you never had children. You would have been a great Mom, however those gifts were transferred to dogs who needed you to care for them.
    My grief for Laddie was only excelled by my grief for my son.

    July 4, I too will go dark. It is Freddie’s birthday and marks the third year without him.

    You words were more beautiful than I could ever write about Freddie, however you expressed it so well about your son, Piezon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kind words. I’ve never experienced a loss like yours (Freddie), so I appreciate you sharing how deep you hurt when Laddie died. Thank you for also acknowledging my loss of motherhood and your compassionate words about it. Funny you should say I transferred my gift to dogs. I just spent 9 days caring for my brother’s dog as his family vacationed. She (the dog) got along great with Max. They are “cousins” after all.

      I can’t imagine how difficult July 4 will be for you. My heart is with you, my friend. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. All of the pets I’ve happily lived alongside have left special places in my heart. I still mourn the death of my doberman x alsation rescue dog. He was a gentle giant, a goofball, comical, loyal and very protective of me. Also the best mouse chaser and tail chaser. I was devastated when he died suddenly as my 4 pawed family members have always played such a large part in my life, especially dogs – I adore them. Even friends dogs have left me bereft when they’ve passed.

    I hope your anniversary passed peacefully, they live on in our hearts and leave their pawprints firmly embedded there too.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi bamberlamb. Thank you for your thoughtful comment on this ten year anniversary of my boy. I stopped over by your blog and saw that you not only have pet loves and losses in common with me, but also remaining childfree after infertility.

      This dog I wrote about was the puppy we got when we decided to stop trying to conceive. He really helped me through that time in my life, so his loss was as great as losing my fertility.

      I know what you mean about even feeling bereft when a friend loses a dog. Once we know how that feels, the pain returns when we see anyone lose their dog. I refuse to watch any movies where a dog dies in the end. Nor can I watch a movie where a dog loses his owner.

      Thanks again for stopping by and sharing your experience.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Snap… I can’t watch a movie where the dog dies… in fact I can’t bear to watch anything where a dog suffers, it’s unbearable for me….

        I can’t even express in words just how much dogs mean to me!

        Although I’m sorry to hear we have travelled similar paths, it’s always a pleasure to hear someone’s thoughts and feelings on their journey too, it makes me feel less alone. ❤️

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Oh what a loss. Piezon will never be forgotten.

    Last year, I lost a dear canine friend–Wilfred, a border collie/kelpie mix. He belonged to some friends, but he was my friend too. It was difficult to even look at another border collie without tearing up.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I know what you mean about it being difficult to look at a border collie without tearing up. They bond to our hearts and stick there forever.

      Everyone thinks Max is a Border, but Aussie’s look just like them only without a tail.

      Thanks for reading about Piezon, L.

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  4. Piezon sounded like everyone’e best friend. Lovely he is still remembered. Maybe over the years the memories might all come up again stronger than ever. Stranger things have happened, you just never know. It is a big anniversary number for your blog, but also for Piezon. He will always be remembered – you wrote so fondly about him. Hugs ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hugs! It’s been 4 years since I lost one of my favorite cats and my only boy cat. He always smelled so good. Not like a cat at all. I just wish I could smell him one more time.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Laura. Oh yes, flyball was a great game for dogs. I don’t know if you checked out the video, but it’s exciting, because it’s fast-paced and you get to cheer for a team to cross the finish line first.

      Thanks for reading. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I know the feeling all too well. We miss our good friends because they were so wonderful and we loved them. That won’t change, but time moves on. Aren’t we lucky to have had those good times with our beautiful pets?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Anneli. Yes, we are so blessed to have had just the right pets show up in our lives. Ten years later, the grief is softened, but the fading memories are a bummer.

      Liked by 2 people

  9. My condolences, Lori. I have lost canine friends as well and it was as bad as losing a human friend. It’s been 3 and a half since we lost our dear Rudy, but I think of him all the time. Be gentle with yourself. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Lynette. Thank you for your kind words. Piezon has been gone 10 years, so the grief has softened, but the fading memories hurt. I completely understand you thinking of Rudy all the time. I say Piezon’s name out loud frequently. Somehow it makes him a little more real again.

      Liked by 1 person

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