life, philosophy

Ungrateful

We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us. ~ Joseph Campbell

We had a snow storm overnight on Sunday into Monday. Well, it was actually a blizzard. I love when it snows (like last week), but anything over four inches . . . I’m not really down with that.

Ten inches in total this time.

I can’t complain though. I mean, I do live in Northeast Illinois, after all. It’s not like this type of weather is a surprise or anything. Although, the deep snow and cold arrived earlier than usual this year.

Today I’d rather complain about people who complain. Like I mentioned, if you live here, complaining about the weather will get you nowhere. It’s gonna happen. Go with the flow or . . . go.

Have you ever seen people who have what appears to be a fantastic life but they complain all the time? I know, I know, we don’t really know what’s going on in private, but what if it’s someone you’re really close to? Someone who knows a lot about you and vice versa. Like family or good friends. I know, we may not know everything. Still, I can’t help but wonder why they are ungrateful.

I do not have the life I thought I’d be living, but I’ve accepted the life that is before me, and I count my blessings.

I watch people who have not one single health issue, beautiful healthy children (in some cases, grandchildren too), big homes, three cars, every new technology that comes out, yet they complain, complain and complain some more. I’m not talking about occasionally feeling stressed from a bombardment of responsibility. I’m talking down right unpleasant-to-be-around crabbiness.

We even see angry celebrities who have millions of dollars complain about the world, without doing something about it themselves.

More recently, I’m hearing people gripe about Christmas. Really? I guess the meaning of the classic story, A Christmas Carol (Scrooge) didn’t make an impact on them.

When we lived far away from family and friends for two and a half decades, the grouches of society told me I was lucky. I didn’t like the distance. Sometimes it got me down, but I hope my behavior didn’t look ugly. I used to allow myself some time to feel down, but then I tried to refocus on my blessings.

Oh sure, I used to take issue with living in Florida heat, even posted about it on occasion, but I tried to be light-hearted about it. I mean, my life could’ve been so much worse. I have two legs, two hands, and a thinking mind, all things to be grateful for.

When we had moved away, much of what I held dear was taken from me for reasons beyond my control. Now that some of it has been restored, I’m sometimes overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on the complainers, since after my experience, it appears that old clichΓ© is true, we don’t know what we’ve got until it’s gone.

P.S. Update: Refrigerator still not working. The good news is, my back porch can be used as a refrigerator.

 

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24 thoughts on “Ungrateful”

  1. I like that final positive thought about the porch Lori πŸ™‚ I used to think I was a pessimist because I’m a bit of a worrier, but I’ve realised over time that actually I’m an optimist because I do tend to think things will work out okay and just the way they’re supposed to. Of course we all complain from time to time but it is wearing when someone does it all the time.

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    1. Hi Andrea, I’ve always been a worrier, too. But, when things are going wrong, I can usually find something to be grateful for. Unless of course, I’m grieving or mourning something/someone. That’s more difficult to look past.

      Thank you for sharing how you know things will work out. That really is optimistic. Thanks you also for your support of my refrigerator saga.

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  2. Hello winter lady! I just feel so much better coming from the positive angle and accepting life and not complaining. It’s sometimes been hard to deal with the more negative ones in my life. However, lately, have recognized that sometimes I have “stuffed” negative emotions by turning way too quickly toward the positive. So part of my homework has been to allow negative feelings to be part of the mix, and perhaps even learn to treat them more tenderly. It’s still not easy to be around people who complain, but lately–yesterday, in fact–sat with a complainer for quite a while and watched how this person was processing through this. The more I am able to sit with my own negative feelings in my body (without a story) the more I am able to sit with the complaining person. It’s been a slow learning curve.

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    1. Good point, Kathy. I know I have to be tender with my own negative feelings. Sometimes I beat myself up for not seeing how good I have it when something upsets me, like dealing with this broken refrigerator. I get mad at myself for feeling worried and throwing fits with the repair service (they are not being helpful). I should probably allow myself to just be and not judge myself.

      As far as sitting with someone who is negative, I like how you observe both theirs and your behaviors and reactions. Sometimes I find it an energy drain. If it’s temporary I’m able to sit with it okay. If they’re like that all the days of their life, I get exhausted around them.

      Thank you for sharing how you deal with others’ negativity. I like to learn from other peoples’ experiences.

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  3. A lot of what people do is about getting the money for all the stuff and toys, but those things will only make people happy in the short term, so they put more pressure on themselves to make more money for more stuff … The commeralisation of Christmas has made this worse imho. So yes, there’s a lot of stressed out people who probably need to re-prioritise.
    Sorry to hear about your fridge but a cold back porch is a good temporary fix. πŸ™‚
    Great winter photos. πŸ™‚

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    1. That’s very true about people looking to material things for fulfillment.

      Still lots of snow here, and now it’s frozen stuck. Yes, Max the dog loves the snow. He gives me an excuse to play like a kid in it myself.

      Thanks for your input, Lynette.

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    1. Oh no. Did you lose your power for long? Our lights flickered a couple of times but we were fortunate that we didn’t lose electricity. Did DuPage get as much snow as we did in Kane County? Ten inches here, and now it’s hardening with the frigid temps. I hope some of it will melt before the next batch. I feel grateful that my husband was able to work from home on Monday and not drive in it. Glad you’re safe, too.

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  4. Lori, your photos make me long for snow, today it has been grey and foggy … oh no, I’m complaining!! πŸ˜ƒ I’m with you on going with the flow and realising how lucky I am! So, headed out for a long walk, glad to do so without pain. I had to smile at your comment of using the outside as your refrigerator which works well in your weather … we have a fridge but no kitchen at the moment! May we both soon be all sorted on the kitchen / fridge front!! πŸ˜ƒ

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    1. Hi Annika. I don’t mind a gray day here or there, but I might complain a little if it lasted for several days or weeks in a row. But then, it’s a thrill when the sun shines again. πŸ™‚

      So, are you having a kitchen remodel? Is that why you don’t have a kitchen?

      Here’s to a working kitchen, including a working fridge, and sunshine to return. πŸ™‚

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  5. I think you have more tolerance for complainers than I do, Lori. A long time ago, I made the decision not to hang with people who just want to bring me down. Sure, every now and then, we might have something to complain about, but in truth, there is always someone worse off than me, so I keep any complaints to myself…or write them in my journal. I love your photos! If I didn’t have to commute to work, I’d love for the snow to just pile up!

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    1. Hi Jill. Well, there are some complainers that I have to be around on occasion, but there are ways to limit the exposure. πŸ˜‰

      I understand when someone is going through a difficult time, but I’m confused and uncomfortable when someone is crabby and they have so many blessings.

      Yeah, the snow was ten inches and a bit too much. It’s going to freeze stuck as the temperatures drop now. I’m so grateful that my husband was able to work from home and not have to drive in it. I would’ve liked to watch it coming down, but it all piled on overnight and it had stopped by the time we woke up. It’s fun to see what Mother Nature will bring us next. Weather always stayed the same where I lived before . . . except for the hurricanes.

      Still keeping you in my prayers, Miss Jill.

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      1. Sadly, I’ve encountered many people who are crabby despite the blessing in their lives. I’ve always thought those people weren’t happy with themselves. They float through life thinking things and circumstances will make them happy. They’ve never understood the concept that happiness is truly a choice. I feel sorry for them, but I do my best to stay away. I hope you get a little rise in your temperatures soon, Lori. Thank you so much for your prayers…I appreciate them! ❀

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