Right when we bought a house that needed some remodeling, my husband’s mother had an accident and was hospitalized. She lives 1,100 miles from us. We lost her during the week of our move to the house. We paid for our rental through the end of July and had no choice but to move at that time.
Though we’re thrilled we are in our new house, the joy is tampered due to our loss. It’s been strange, feeling happy one minute and sobbing the next. Contradicting emotions can be confusing.
The five stages of grief come and go … at times, they hit all at once. In addition to those five stages, is guilt. We haven’t been able to be there due to the mess of our move and remodel.
We also just lost my husband’s father ten months earlier.
Switching gears just a bit here … we are still buying and replacing things for the house. Over the weekend, we were at Home Depot. An elderly man, T, placed our order for an item we needed. While we were waiting for the computer to do its thing with our order, we talked to T and learned about his life. His wife was going through chemotherapy. For what type of cancer, we didn’t ask, but he shared how the treatment seemed like something out of the dark ages. He called it barbaric. I saw how it ripped out his heart to watch his wife suffer. Their one daughter lived thousands of miles away and was pregnant. They ached to spend time with their only child, and soon, only grandchild.
T spoke with a calm sort of accepting manner, even while showing his sadness and concern. Said he was grateful to be at an age where he could work part-time to stay with his wife through treatments.
My husband and I held hands on our way out of the store. We walked quietly, and as we approached the car my husband said, “The saying we learned a while back is true. If a group of people puts all of their problems out on a table, and everyone sees what those problems are, we’d each quickly take back our own.”
Needless to say, we left there grateful not to have T’s problems.
Have you ever been feeling low about your problems until you heard what someone else was going through?