life, thoughts

The Social Media Dare

girlthinkingX2(800x533)I’m really struggling with writing posts these days and contemplating what to do about it.

You see, I’m having difficulty not bringing up what’s happening in society. I feel as if it’s crumbling around us. I’m not supposed to have an opinion about it either, otherwise I could be ousted from society.

I don’t want to alienate anyone, because I love this blogging community. I’m going to tread lightly and write about how societal changes are affecting my psyche.

When I read news sites, social media or watch television news, it appears they are telling me how to think, feel and perceive. This is not a good thing for my personality type, because it feels like a dare to me.

OMG, here she goes...
Oh brother, here she goes…

In my post Why I’m a Freak Reason #2, I wrote about how I’ve always bucked the trends. I’ve never wanted to follow the crowd. I wanted to be me. Even as a teenager, I didn’t succumb to peer pressure. Although, like everyone else, I want to be loved, but not at the expense of losing my own identity in order to blend in with what everyone else is doing.

As a result, when someone tells me I have to do something, I consider it a dare. Tell me what to do, will you? I don’t think so. I’m going to do what I want to do.

Oh brother. We've heard this soapbox before.
How long is this soapbox going to last?

I follow my heart, not the crowd. I try to do the right thing for my life, not the convenient thing, or the thing that will help me fit in, but the right thing for me. This is not to suggest anyone else should do what I’m doing. I’m of the old philosophy … to each his own.

During my infertility struggle, I met a loving group of women online. We supported each other as we moved on to accept a childfree lifestyle after infertility.

Wait a minute. Are you sayin' I'm adopted?
Wait a minute. Are you sayin’ I’m adopted?

One of those very wise women said something that really summed up what we had gone through. She said that in her desperation to have children, if the doctor would’ve told her, “The only way you can become pregnant with your husband’s spawn, is if we cut off your left arm and reattach it to your head,” she actually would’ve considered it!

She realized how silly it sounded and knew that just because something can be done doesn’t mean it should.

When we feel really desperate to fit in, we feel incomplete or insecure, that is not an indication that we should follow the rest of the world to be “complete.” What we should be doing is going inward to clear up the misconceptions about ourselves.

Okay, little Miss Intellect, are you almost off your high horse yet?
Okay, little Miss Intellect, are you almost off your high horse yet?

Because, “if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it.” ~ John Candy

Maxwaits (740x800)wm
I hope you’re finished so can we go for a walk now.

I have values that don’t fit into the world today. One of my values is to always use reason, logic and common sense in balance with my heart. When communication outlets and cult of personalities act as if they’re speaking with authority. When they tell me to perceive the world without using reason, logic and common sense . . . it will not happen.

I understand that the world is not just black and white, but relativism only goes so far. Two plus two will always equal four.

I won’t be mislead. As far as I’m concerned, social media and news outlets are daring me to stick to my principles of reason, logic and common sense.

I take them up on that challenge!

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40 thoughts on “The Social Media Dare”

  1. This sums up so well something that I can always sense in the world but haven’t been able to wrap my head around. I sometimes find myself amazed at how adults around me can so easily buy into certain beliefs and behaviors… almost a high-school type mentality of needing to follow the in-crowd.

    I would hope that you can write what you feel here, without alienating anyone. We’re all entitled to be different, and have different beliefs. And we are supposed to accept those differences. Though we all know that’s not so much how this world works these days…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Tee. We certainly are all different, but the “forces that be” seem to want to make us uniform. I appreciate your thoughts on it and for understanding my point.

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  2. Interesting post and fascinating comments. In a country (and internet) priding itself on free speech, there’s an awful lot of fear of doing just that!

    I think what has been lost somewhere along the way is the ability to express one’s opinions in a CIVIL discussion. We used to be able to disagree and still be polite about it. Now there is such vitriol. People take pot-shots at each other without understanding the other person’s point of view fully. Shouting has replaced reasoned debates. Anonymous tweets fly around or sound bytes are taken out of context for maximum inflammatory value.

    What ever happened to getting educated about a topic, thinking carefully about how you feel, and engaging in a conversation with others who have done the same? We are humans, after all, and we have brains that are capable of those functions. Let’s use them!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love this, Lorna. It’s so true. We’ve lost critical thinking. I posted a blog about how so many feel cheated, or are led to believe they’re a victim. I think it has to do with feeling like they’re not being heard or understood, and therefore, feeling unloved. At least at the core of things.

      Thank you for sharing your insight.
      https://loreezlane.wordpress.com/?s=fairness

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I came back to see what the other Lori has to say 🙂 This is such a minefield. I’m grateful I’ve had no explosions of outrage on my blog. Although I haven’t really broached those controversial topics on it either. However, I have seen quite a few posts on sites I follow, writing about the politics in America at the moment. They have been respectful, some tongue in cheek, some despondent. Comments I’ve seen have been the same. It would seem to me that in a world of free speech we should all be able to voice our views without copping a mouthful of abuse just because someone else has a different view. After all, that’s what makes the world an interesting place! Raili

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    1. I don’t usually touch on societal issues on my blog. But, I do like getting into why humans behave the way they do, which may sometimes tip-toe into social issues. So far, I’ve been okay without any nasty comments. Thanks for coming over and reading it.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. About two weeks ago, in a moment of excitement, I posted a spoiler for a very popular TV show. Certainly, I wasn’t trying to ruin the shows surprise for people. I mean, the thought never crossed my mind. I was excited and I posted as such. And then it happened.

    I had a cousin lash out because she’s in a different time zone and hasn’t seen it yet. With that, my husband lashed right back, stating that #1, if someone doesn’t want to know stuff they should stay off social media as I had done, and #2, in yelling at me for ruining her excitement, she ruined mine. But of course, that was okay in her eyes because the world revolves around her.

    With this comment, I had others comment and it finally got to the point where I just deleted the post.

    Ever since then I’ve stayed of Facebook as much as possible. Quite honestly, I was already becoming more and more frustrated with the drama and stupidity on the social media site, but this just pushed me over the edge. I’ve since spent more time reading blogs and working on other stuff and I have to say that I feel so much better.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yikes! At first I thought you meant you posted it on your blog and was wondering how I missed it. Heh.

      I don’t do twitter or any others, just my blog and facebook. I find that there are some perks to fb, too. I follow some favorite people in public life, which includes some rock bands I love. Then, today, one of my top 3 favorite bands put up a post that is opposed to my values. I was so upset. I respect their right, but I don’t know why they have to stick their nose into politics. Seeing them in concert now would be like going to hear them preach their values to me. Sigh.

      I’m so sorry you had that trouble with a relative. I get it. I unfriended every single family member in order to avoid such issues. They were not happy about it at first, but they got over it. We get along better if we connect and communicate the old fashioned way.

      So, I’m only friends with fb authors and in-person friends, but not family.

      Hope things stay calmer for you now with less use of fb.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Kourtney. It is a difficult subject to broach, and I never can tell how I’m coming across to others. I appreciate the kind words.

      Like

  5. I am so glad to hear someone voice this issue. I have been floored that no one is addressing certain issues right now anywhere in blogland. Not that I’ve found anyway. Reading some of these comments, I’m at once glad of the advice but awakened to my own naivety with newness to blogging. But let me just say this – I Live In North Carolina!!! And I know NOT writing about what’s going on in NC right now is being a coward because it’s in the forefront of everyone’s mind here. Just like this post, everyone here acts like we’re all afraid to discuss. So, I’m tossing my thoughts around as to how I’m going to approach it, but know that it’s inevitably going to end up as a post very soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my, I can’t imagine how much news is coming your way with living in NC. You must be bombarded. It’s bad enough to constantly hear this stuff nationally, but when it’s happening in you neck of the woods and you don’t get a say … well … I get it.

      Like I told Kathy in response to her comment, the reason I haven’t addressed these things directly is because this is an author’s blog. I hope to someday have my books published and would like to be appealing to readers. Discussing politics is usually not appealing. 😛 But, like I told Anneli, I’m considering starting up a separate political opinion blog where people can submit pieces. It’s just so much work, and it would give me another excuse to avoid my writing endeavors.

      If you’re following authors in blog land, this could also be the reason why you haven’t come across political topics. I haven’t tried it, but if we typed in a specific issue for search in the Reader, I’d bet it would come up.

      Welcome to the blog world. After I reluctantly started mine, I was surprised to find out how much I enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and commenting here.

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  6. You know, I have been thinking about this a lot lately, too. And have been wondering why I am reluctant to make a stand. Is it really from fear? Or from caring what other people think? Or another reason?

    What has become a tiny bit clearer during this time of pondering is that it’s a big challenge when a person can look at all sides of an issue. Then it feels like perhaps no side is definitively right. Part of me can stand up and support one candidate, but another side appreciates another. In Oneness it feels like each person has a valid viewpoint…so it’s hard. Thank you for writing this for more pondering.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good thoughts, Kathy.

      I know that I don’t want this blog to be about politics. In fact, it’s supposed to be here as an author’s page for if and when I ever get my book(s) out there. As far as my blog goes, I’d rather keep it on my author’s topic. If I didn’t want to interest people in my future books, I’m pretty sure I’d take a stand.

      I do see your point about understanding all sides of an issue. I’ve been able to do that also. I think that’s why I get so aggravated when someone can’t see my side of an issue. I can see theirs, so why can’t they try to understand mine? But, I also realize that’s not always possible.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, and what you’re going through about posting as well.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I completely agree with your reply to Anneli, Lori. Sadly, our country is a much different place, and not for the better I’m afraid. Although it’s difficult because I like to stay informed, I try to tune out the extreme craziness.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for understanding, Jill. I think I need therapy for the craziness you mentioned. Ha. I wish I could tune out those extremes. It’s also difficult when there are certain close people in our lives who are very opinionated and don’t let us forget it. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Hi Lori, I am kind of the same way. I know we have discussed this before, but I just can’t look at the news without it annoying me, so I don’t – look at the news or pretty much anything on the Internet. Sometimes I think I would like to become totally disconnected. What’s going on? I hope everything is okay!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi SD. Everything is good, thanks for asking. I’m finally feeling better from that virus that knocked me for a loop. I’m just feeling suffocated from all the political correctness. Hope you are doing well.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Carrie. I can tell that about you. I admire that you are a true independent woman with principles and a good career, in addition to caring for your family and being a good mom.

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  9. I think we might find out in time how you really feel about some issues. I know I tried it once on my blog and although my post made sense to me, a more extreme thinker commented in a way that made it sound as if I agreed with his completely bizarre ideas. It’s touchy business to speak your mind, but I hope you’ll keep trying. Tread carefully and we’ll follow along, and hopefully, your posts won’t get hijacked by a fanatic like mine did. You can always not post comments that are inflammatory.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I remember when you tried that, Anneli. It’s tough to know where to draw the line. As a writer, I want to keep my author friends close and not alienate anyone. So, this blog will likely not deviate too far away from subjects of my own creative writing (books, short stories if they ever get published).

      I’m feeling such a need to express myself. All this political correctness is making me feel suffocated. Freedom seems to be lost. I’m considering starting a separate blog for freely expressing myself and allowing people to submit pieces too. I don’t know if I have the time though. We shall see.

      Thanks for your support.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s very hard to find people who will comment and express their opinions (no matter if they’re for or against) in a civilized way when it’s a topic that they feel passionate about. Diplomacy and good manners often fly out the window.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. If I do start a separate blog, I would highly monitor it, that’s why I don’t know if I will have time. Gotta get my novel edited first (got it back from my editor). I just feel like so many of us are being stifled, while others are allowed to be obnoxious. It certainly is a different world.

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          1. I know! And then if you say anything in defense of yourself they play the racist card (reverse racism is what it is). If it’s not about race, the same kind of thing applies. Only the “activists” are allowed to say whatever they please. Frustrating.

            Liked by 1 person

          1. I can understand why you made it private. My other blogging friend, Anneli, had to take one down, and it wasn’t even as intense a topic as yours.

            Thanks for the offer to see it, but I better not. I can see myself scrolling through comments getting worked up over the abuse. Even if I tell myself not to. And, it would be an excuse for me to avoid doing other work. 😉

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              1. I’m sorry, I can’t help but giggle. I read a couple of comments and had to close it. I thought my head would explode.

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      1. Yeah…I’d stick to basics. Start with something less volatile. You might start to wonder why you even want to bother, but it’s supposed to be a country of free speech and you should be able to say what you feel as long as it doesn’t hurt someone else.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. That’s just the problem … we can say what we want as long as it doesn’t hurt someone else? There is no way to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. That’s where political correctness comes in. We get ousted for hurting someone’s feelings, and in many cases now, governments are legislating laws for hurt feelings.

          I drafted a blog post about this very thing, but again, I’m not sure if it’s a topic I want to get into on my blog. It’s sitting there drafted for now. But a little hint, it’s about a friend who got offended by a decision I made for my life. She took it to mean that because she made a different decision on the same matter, that I was judging her. This is the type of stuff I mean. Maybe I should get offended for the way I’m treated for being short. I’m just not that insecure. I don’t care. Do you know how many times I was called the ethnic slangs for Italian when I was a kid? It was funny, because I didn’t care. Now, god forbid I even type out those slang names or I might be arrested. 😛

          Oops, sorry, I walked my dog Max and then got back on my soapbox. Hee, hee.

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Heh, well, I said what I wanted to say. Of course, there is always more that can be said, but my dog, Max is sick of hearing my soapbox and wants to go for a walk now. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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