life, thoughts

Maddening and Miraculous

fun palm lights wmThe last time I posted about the unbearable heat at Christmas in Florida, I never dreamed I’d be living in the north two years later. Even though I wanted to move, I didn’t think it would actually happen.

One of the biggest reasons we remained in Florida for so long, is because my husband didn’t want to leave. He liked it there. He didn’t like winter, not to mention, he doesn’t take to change very easily.onlyme640

As many of you know, I didn’t like the many, many miles it put between us and our families (some day I’ll post the story about why we moved there in the first place). I also despised the long-lasting heat and humidity. Can you believe we had a fireplace in our home there? I can count on one hand how many times we used it in over two dozen years (the fireplace is in photo).

Despite his high-stress job, my husband used its security as an excuse to stay, so I hung a retirement-move over his head. We’d probably be the first two who left Florida instead of settling there in retirement.

Then, he had that serious accident. What happened from there is maddening and miraculous all at the same time. He was laid up for many months, and he’s a man who likes to feel he’s working on something worthwhile. I thought for sure he’d go mentally stir crazy. He did not. The accident forced him to endure indescribable physical pain, while at the same time, his mind rested in peace and comfort.

Without the continual stress from his job, the relief to his mind was like the air letting out of an overblown balloon. In 29 years of married life, I’d never seen him let go of work so completely. I thought for sure he’d be running his job from the hospital bed in our home, but it never happened. He didn’t call and talk to anyone at work, nor did he even talk about his job. He took care of a lot of paperwork regarding workman’s comp and many other personal papers of our own that he hadn’t gotten to over the years.

Once he built back up to full-time on the job, something was different. He didn’t have that same drive as before the accident, and we both knew why. Struggling with the lasting effects of pain from the injury, and the mental stress of fifty-plus hours each week, wasn’t worth sacrificing his well-being anymore.

From there, you know the rest of the story about our move. But, you don’t know how much happier he is in his new job. He has much less stress, and he doesn’t have to be on his scarred feet all day. He’s not too thrilled about trudging through winters again, but this new job is not like his other one, so he won’t have to work outside in the frozen tundra. After wasting years in stagnation and stress, our lives have switched to contented fulfillment. We find ourselves speaking daily about how grateful we are, and on occasion I’ve been moved to tears with joy.

My question here is, was the accident a good thing? It’s crazy to think so. My husband will deal with lasting problems from the accident. As a result, my advice to all of you out there … don’t wait until the Universe slaps you upside the head into a full-tilt crash to do what makes you happy. Take care of your well-being now.

P.S. Finally, a reason to use a fireplace.

newfire (800x449) wm

Do you know anyone who overworks themselves? Does anyone else think they are the only one who could get the job done? Have you ever had something good come out of something bad?

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28 thoughts on “Maddening and Miraculous”

  1. I wouldn’t say that, or any unfortunate accident was a good thing but sometimes worthwhile things come from bad. From one person who’s happy to be home to another, being in the right place makes a huge difference 🙂

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  2. As you know from our shared experience, we are not in control of what happens to us in life. But…we are in control of how we deal with it. Taking it all and having the strength & faith to make the best out of it is the only path for people like you & your husband. I am blessed to know about this chapter in your life & to have reconnected with you!

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    1. Hi Celia! It was a miracle that this job opportunity came up for my husband after his accident. He didn’t even go looking, it came looking for him.

      Thank you for coming over to check out my blog and for reconnecting. Happy New Year.

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  3. I love this! I’m so happy for you that both you and your hubby are in a place (physically and mentally) that makes you feel content and grateful. You’re living proof that no matter what the circumstances, when you look for the silver lining, you’ll find it.

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    1. Thank you, Tee. I’m awake this Christmas Eve morning in disbelief that I’m actually here for my first one in more then 2 dozen years. I’m so thrilled.

      Merry Christmas to you. I hope you and your family can get through this first one with some peace and comfort. I know you’ll be there to support one another. God Bless.

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  4. Father and I left Miami after 60 years. We are now in Greensboro, North Carolina. I have a son here. Down there I felt like and was treated like a stranger in my own country and the heat was just so oppressive. I’m 66 and Dad’s 92. Challenging to start over at our age. We’re glad we did. It’s about 30 outside. I like it and get to wear real clothes.

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    1. Hi Carl. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I can see that you understand. Everyone here thinks I’m nuts for leaving sunny Florida for the frozen tundra of Chicago, but it’s where I grew up. All of my family and friends live within 10 miles of me now. I like being able to wear real clothes too. I actually had to buy things like shoes, since I only had sandals.

      I’ve been to North Carolina and it was one of the states on my list to move. I’m so glad you like it there and can be near your son. I understand the challenge of starting over, and especially at age 92. God Bless. My husband and I are in our 50’s and didn’t expect to have to start over at this age, but I’m happy we did.

      I like the way you described the heat as being oppressive. It’s so true, and I was near Tampa.

      Glad we each made that big decision to move, cause it seems it was worth it.

      Merry Christmas, Mr. Carl.

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  5. Growing up I never thought I’d move away from my home town. While I miss my family, and I don’t like that my kids are growing up not close to my parents, after moving to another state, sometimes, I kick myself for not doing it sooner.

    Sometimes, it takes getting out of the norm to figure out the norm isn’t that great and you need a change.

    Enjoy your fireplace! 🙂

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    1. Hi Angela. I know what you mean. I never thought I’d move so far away from my home town when we left for Florida. It never even crossed my mind until the opportunity arose.

      Did you mean that you think the move for you was good? Because, I have to admit, when we first moved to Florida, I realized it was what we needed. We needed to grow up and learn to be independent and that move did that for us. Once we grew though, I was ready to move back, it just took some time for the Universe to align for us.

      So yes, in a nutshell, it does take getting out of the “norm” to realize the change was what we needed.

      Thanks for sharing your experience. Have a wonderful Christmas.

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    1. Shucks, Linda. Thank you. I wouldn’t say young or beautiful, but it’s nice to hear that somebody thinks so (I’d say middle-aged and flawed. You should see how short I am. :-P).

      I used to always tear-up when I heard the song “I’ll be Home for Christmas.” Now, I’ll probably still tear up with joy, because I really am home. I’m grateful for your support and understanding. Hugs.

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    1. Hi Charlie. Yes, we should be doing the thing that makes us happy. Waiting around for it to happen “some day” is a waste. Thanks for stopping by, Charlie. Have a beautiful Christmas.

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  6. That was such a heartwarming story. So glad you are so happy. Talk about a silver lining! But still, like you said, what a way to come by much needed change. I think change is good – it’s inevitable anyway, so we might as well embrace it! I lived in Florida for a year (back in another life) and really missed the seasons and got so tired of the tourism. Love to visit, but still don’t feel inclined to live there! My sister lives in SC and loves it – probably retire someday near there. Happy Holidays, Lori!

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    1. So True, Kelly, I like that … “change is inevitable so we might as well embrace it.” I’m going to say that to my husband the next time he resists. Thanks for the mantra. 😉

      Yes, Florida is great to visit, especially in January and February. Aside from that, it’s been in the 80’s or 90’s since March there, with the exception of only a couple of days. Glad I’m not there.

      Thanks for sharing your experience with Florida and for the holiday wishes. Have a Merry Christmas, Kelly.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. “don’t wait until the Universe slaps you upside the head into a full-tilt crash to do what makes you happy. Take care of your well-being now.”—Yes! I love this advice. For some, making job changes isn’t always easy, but for those who have done it, their relief is often palpable. So glad things worked out well for your husband with his new job and that you finally get to be closer to your roots. It should be a wonderful Christmas for you for sure.

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    1. Hi Carrie. You’re right, I’ve seen many people besides my husband who find it difficult to make a job change. It can be scary. My husband doesn’t like any kind of change, so this was a big step for him, and now he’s happy.

      You know, I forgot to mention in my post that we took a step back with our finances making this move, but we’re so happy, it doesn’t even matter so I didn’t even think to mention it.

      Thank you for the kind comment and your compassionate support.

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  8. I firmly believe that something good can come out of something bad. In fact, I believe sometimes God compels us with the bad toward the good. Since retiring due to disability, the amount of stress in my life has reached an all-time low. And for that I’m highly grateful. So happy for the two of you in your new situation. And glad that you can use a fireplace!

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    1. Hi Lyn! Yes, I can see how God compels us with bad situations to move us into better lives for ourselves. I don’t even think my husband realized how stressed out he was until the stress was gone.

      I’m happy for you too, that the amount of stress is so low now. I’m sure that can and does help with the disability issues. Thanks for coming over to my blog and commenting. Always good to hear from you.

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  9. I’m the worst at delegating, Lori. It’s something I’m working on. I feel like if I want it done right, I’ll do it myself.
    Definitely yes to something good coming out of something bad. I lost my job in 2011, when my company was closed by corporate. I’m in such a better place both financially, and I love what I’m doing.
    Enjoy the lovely fire!

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    1. I know what you mean about wanting something done right and doing it yourself.

      So glad that the loss of your job turned into something better. I’m so happy that you are in a better place. Sometimes we don’t realize we were even stressed or uptight until we get removed from the situation.

      You know, I completely forgot to mention in the post that we aren’t better of financially. That’s how happy I am … I don’t even care that we took a step back in the financial respect, because our well-being is what matters.

      Thank you for sharing your experiences, Jill. Glad things are going well.

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