This time of year has gotten me thinking about the ‘what if’s.’ You know … what if I had made different decisions … or nature made a different decision for me? What alternate path would my life have taken, and how would I have handled it?
Without a family, holidays feel so desolate. What if nature would’ve allowed me to have children? How would my life be today? Would my grown children even visit me for Christmas? I don’t know. Would I have recognized the blessing of having a family if I had one all along?
What if my husband and I chose not to move from our hometown in Illinois to Florida? The cost of living had made it so we couldn’t afford to live there at the time. Would we have gone bankrupt … maybe even divorced over money matters? People don’t visit us in Florida, would they have if we stayed in Illinois? Would my husband still be stumping body work with icy metal and rust to repair? He was able to move up in job positions here. Would I have ever been able to stay home to write and become a published author?
There are so many different scenarios for paths that my life could’ve taken. We also considered adoption, what if we had taken that route? Would our children want to spend the holiday with us, or would they have found their biological parents and spent it with them? At one time, we looked into moving to Colorado. What would life be like if we lived there?
Sometimes, I feel like I took a turn that led me to living the wrong life. I can vividly envision my life on one of those alternate paths.
I’ve always loved the quote by Joseph Campbell, “We must be willing to [let go] of the life we’ve planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” This saying helped me move forward with the childfree life that was waiting for me.
Don’t misunderstand, I’m perfectly contented in my present life and very grateful for the blessings bestowed upon me.
As a writer, imagining alternative lives I could’ve lived keeps my imagination flowing with new ideas. In fact, the novel I’m shopping now is taken from an alternate idea of what might’ve happened.
Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you had made a different decision? Have you had to let go of something in order to live the life that is waiting for you?
P.S. To those who read this post, may miracles be recognized for you this holiday season, with blessings throughout the new year and beyond.