humor, life

Gum Girl

To understand Gum Girl, I’ll have to start from the beginning.

Last week I posted about my trip to the mall. I had gone to find some nice business clothes for the writer’s conference I was soon going to attend. I bought two pairs of dress slacks with matching blouses (this is important for later).

I like to think of myself as an extrovert. I enjoy meeting new people and socializing, but I’m petrified of getting up in front of a group to speak. If all eyes are on me in a crowd, I quiver like jello.

rbstage (800x496) wmI hoped I could face that fear by speaking up in workshops at the writer’s conference. On the first day, with my heart in my throat, I raised my hand for questions. Because twenty-five to seventy-five people attended each workshop, they didn’t have time to get to me. Phew!

On Friday night, just as I sat down to dinner in a banquet hall filled with a couple hundred people, the moderator asked us to stand for the National Anthem. I moved to lift myself up, but my right leg stuck to the chair. What the heck? Great! Did the material on my new slacks get snagged on something?

I reached underneath the chair to gently free my pant leg from it’s captor. I couldn’t find where it was snagged. It felt like someone was holding onto my pants with their hands. Praying it wouldn’t rip, I tugged harder to try and detach from the chair. My leg finally loosened but remained attached by a string of gooey white gum.

I waited until after the singing of the anthem, then told the banquet staff to get me a new chair. I scanned the room wondering if the person who placed the gum there was watching and laughing. Which of you dastardly authors ruined my new pants?

The staff immediately replaced my chair, and the manager fetched a cleaner that was supposed to freeze the gum off the material. Since it was in the back on the calf area of my pant-leg, I had to stand while the manager and a nice writer sitting next to me worked on cleaning it off. This alerted others that there was a problem. More and more eyes began to look my way. The cliche is true, what we fear the most…will happen.

Since I’m spilling over my self-imposed 500 word limit, let me wrap this up. The next day,  I was called upon in workshops for questions, and I spoke up in a room full of people. It’s amazing what a gum experience can do for one’s courage.

There were at least 250 people at the conference, and I was the one to find the gum, becoming affectionately known as Gum Girl.

Aside from the incident, and the need for a little more leisure time for fun after the workshops, the conference was a huge success.

P.S. The gum didn’t come completely out of the material until I got home. My wonderful husband slaved over it with a piece of ice and a toothbrush. Yay, Husband.

P.S.S. Would you like me to post about a workshop I attended called the Gong Show Pitch Fest? Here’s the link to this nail biting event.

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22 thoughts on “Gum Girl”

    1. I know, right? Thanks for coming over and checking it out, Aussa. If it’s something clumsy, it happens to me. There is actually more to the story, but certain people might’ve read it. 😉

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    1. OMG, I know, I was trying to laugh and joke about it, but everyone was so serious. I kept giggling all night after that, and the friends I attended with thought I was drunk. Can’t a girl have a sense of humor without alcohol? Sheesh. Yes, I had a couple beers. Hehe, but beer or not, it was funny. Thanks for coming by to read it and comment, Lauren.

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  1. Definitely yes to the Gong Show Pitch Fest post! Whew, try saying that three times fast. 🙂

    Oh, the gum. What are people thinking? But I’m glad it helped you find your voice at the conference!

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    1. The even stranger thing is, most of the authors there were NOT under the age of 40. Gum under the chair, really? I’m working on a draft about the Pitch Fest. Hopefully it’s not too anticlimactic. Thanks for stopping by, JM.

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  2. With my luck, the gum would have been stuck right in the center of the butt of my pants. And it would have been somebody like that chef from Hell’s Kitchen who came to clean it off, “You call this a butt? Get the hell out of my dining room!!”

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    1. Ha, ha. Yes, that night I thought about how I was grateful I hadn’t sat on the gum instead. I was actually trying to joke about it with people, but most of them there were so dang serious.

      Hey, you changed your blog name. I didn’t recognize you. Stopped by your blog. Good luck with those interviews. Hopefully the auto matrons won’t be as dull as you first thought.

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  3. I wish you’d have been able to name and shame the gum sticker… what on earth were they [not] thinking. Your recap made it sound funny, and all’s well that ends well, I guess 🙂
    Love to hear about the “Gong Show Pitch Fest”.

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    1. Hey EllaDee. Yep, it was a gummy evening. 😉 Like I told Carrie, I’m worried the Gong Show Pitch Fest might be a bit anticlimactic, but I’ll see if I can put something together about it. I’m glad that the gum story came across funny. Thanks for reading.

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  4. Oh no, this sounds like the kind of thing that would happen to me, Lori. Sorry I laughed…the way you told the story was funny.
    Ice always works like a charm with gum, especially in your hair. I learned that as a child. 🙂

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    1. Phew! I’m so glad you laughed, Jill. I was hoping I wrote it so that readers would see the comical aspect of the situation. The experience was a gross one, but leave it to me to find the one chair with gum on it. Ha! Thanks for reading and commenting.

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  5. Glad to hear the conference went well. Other than the gum incident, that is… You poor thing. Why do people put their gum under the table or desk? Is is so difficult to use a napkin? Ick. Glad you were able to get it out. And yes to the Gong Show Pitch Fest. 🙂

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    1. Hey Carrie. I know, I couldn’t help but think that someone in that room (of 200 plus) had put that gum there. Figures, I’m the one to find it. Anyway, the Gong Show Pitch Fest was a fun and interesting workshop, but I fear the story may be a bit anticlimactic. I’ll have to see if I can figure a way to make it a good read.

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