Anything in life that we don’t accept will simply make trouble for us until we make peace with it. ~ Allen Reid McGinnis
I have a confession to make. I’m bearing it all out there for the world to see as I admit to something preposterous. Ready? Deep breath …. release ….
I bought a device from an infomercial that’s supposed to turn back the aging clock.
Whew! There, I said it.
Needless to say …. it didn’t work. It had a money-back guarantee, so I returned it.
As usual, the situation caused me to introspect. I’m not really a gullible person, and didn’t have high hopes for the product when I shelled out the dinero. So, why did I buy it?
Well, the first answer that came to mind was that …. you never know. Why not try it to smooth things out? I can always send it back if it doesn’t work.
How many products are there that claim they will make us younger? Not to mention the amount of plastic surgery some endure to make them feel better about their appearance.
When I see Joan Rivers, or some other celebrity with sunk-in eyes and mannequin skin, I think, “You’ve paid tens of thousands for something that’s going to rot in a grave, and it doesn’t look any better than wrinkles.”
Then, I see another sag on my own body and think, one little nip or tuck wouldn’t be bad, would it?
All of these thoughts jumbled through my mind on my drive home from the post office (to return the device), and then one word popped into my head like a billboard …
Acceptance!
The word switched my mind from questions, to perhaps some answers.
Maybe aging is supposed to teach us acceptance of the inevitable … acceptance of things that we can’t change, like death. And, other things, like … I’d love to be 5’6 with long legs, but 4’11 and hemming all pants/skirts/dresses is what I’ve had to accept.
See what I mean about my height?
Maybe the inevitable aging process is supposed to help us to look inward, to find what truly matters.
Maybe certain things, like aging, or challenging circumstances in our lives, serve a purpose that we’re missing, because we are focused on changing something which can’t be changed.
I’m not saying that we can’t work to make dreams come true, but that’s an entirely different subject from what I’m trying to say here. Let’s be realistic, I’ll never reach the top shelf of my kitchen cabinets without a step-stool (or having them lowered).
It turns out, this entire introspection about acceptance is not merely a question of aging. It can cover many matters in life that some of us are not willing to accept.
Maybe not accepting my aging body means I’m not accepting other things in my life as well. What else am I resisting, instead of facing head on and accepting?
What things haven’t you accepted?
Growth begins when we start to accept [and embrace] our own weaknesses. ~ Jean Vanter
Lori's Lane 
I’m guessing I have about 10 years on you? At fifty I looked pretty much like I looked at 40 and like I felt at 30.
At 55 I looked in the mirror and saw the same eyes and ears and nose, perched on an old lady’s neck. Weird how that happened! 😀
I didn’t think I had any issues with acceptance for most of my life.
I had no idea just how much I railed against (internally) until one day I simply broke a part.
Grace found me in the rubble. My heart is that when people look at me, they see compassion and warmth and grace – the rest – just wrappings.
Nice post, Lori.
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Perhaps you only have 4 or 5 years on me, Debbie. The photo was taken when I was 2 months shy of 50. I wonder if accepting means that you have to like it. IOW, I accept it, but I don’t like it. Heh. My goodness I didn’t know you were injured. May you have a quick recovery. Blessings to you.
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Wow, Lori …. you’re really petite!!!! Joan Rivers is one of my favorite comedians … she has said some cracking things. What I haven’t accepted???? Not much really … not when it’s about myself. I’m thinking – empty. It must be the side effects after my cancer treatments … have really hard time to accept them and I hate them, when they are playing up too much. Great post, Lori.
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It’s super hard to accept health issues, Viveka. I think the best we can do is take care of ourselves and keep trying to move forward. Nice to see you here again, Miss Viveka.
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Oh wow. This is thought provoking… What have I not accepted? On the surface I feel like I’ve accepted most of the difficult things that have come my way and that I’ve tried to fight against but I know there are things I struggle to not accept… I think they are mostly vain and probably have to do with my level of intellect or wit or perhaps even how short my neck is. What an interesting trail of thought to wander down.
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I know, deep, eh? I can go there once in a while. Heh. Actually, my mind frequently stirs with these types of introspection. I think my nonacceptance has a lot to do with vanity, too. But, I also lean toward wanting to be in control, IOW, a control freak. I have to constantly take inventory of myself. BTW, you’ve come face to face with a lot of ugly things out of your control and into acceptance, and I commend you.
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Love of God – Love of Neighbour
My take is this and not all might agree, I reckon.
Neighbour refers to us – I, me, myself – before we look at family. As for ‘neighbour’ in the ordinarily accepted sense – that is a long way away. Because many cannot accept their own perceived shortcomings, (no pun intended) and are so critical of family members – how then to love strangers.
Incidentally, my wife is all of five feet tall in stockings. I am balding – but keep my hair short and neat, as always. Not for me those ridiculous toupees or sweeping eight strands of hair from ear to ear. 😆
Only the Brothers Grinn make fun of my pate.
You are very daring to share this post with us – immense self-confidence and humility.
You have my respect, Lori
Eric
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Hey Eric. My husband is balding, too. He keeps his head shaved in a crew cut as short as it will go without being completely skin. I like it and he does too. Very easy to manage, as he shaves it at home. I don’t know that I’m deserving of your kind comment, but I humbly thank you.
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If you live long enough, Lori, it’s inevitable that you’re going to age. But there are different ways to age. The older one gets the easier it is to let oneself go, and once you start on that downhill slide, it’s very difficult to reverse the course. Or, you can resist letting yourself go and age gracefully. That’s what I strive to do. I have made some changes to my lifestyle that will not stop the clock, but they make me feel better about myself from within. It’s just the cliche stuff: diet, exercise and sleep. Plus I slather myself with moisturizer, a habit I’m very grateful that my mother got me into when I was 30. Advertisers worship youth, and I am as guilty as anyone for enjoying eye candy, but when I want intellectual depth, I greatly appreciate the company of my peers.
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Living long enough is the key, eh, V? If I can accept my sagging skin without fighting it, perhaps I can learn to accept other things without trying so hard to control (control freak here). Thanks for your input Miss Virginia.
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Very introspective post. Being thirty years older, there are days it is easy to accept what is. Other days, I wish things were different, yet I know I have earned my wrinkles; I am healthy enough with sinus problems being my nemesis. I marvel at the things that most of the blogs I read ( all ten 🙂 )have yet to experience. Yet, I do not seek out those of my age, and do not know why and no desire to analyze. I am 5’6″ yet wish I were taller and even though I am younger, my sister who is 6 years older looks younger. Skin tone has a lot to do with this and sun. I think most times I like to make lemonade from my lemons.
You will be fine as you age. I will be watching over you and Kathy. 🙂
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Hey Linda. I think you are my mom’s age, and she is 22 1/2 years older than me. I enjoy analyzing mine and others behaviors. It helps for good character development in writing. It’s also fascinating to see how two people can experience something very similar, yet react so differently. I know for sure Kathy and I will be fine with you watching over us. 🙂
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This is unbelievably true!
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Thanks for reading my introspection for the day, T.D.
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It seems many of us struggle to accept. One person might have trouble accepting aging; another person blog readers; a third might struggle against an illness, or marriage, or the present moment. I think our egos so often fear the present moment and don’t want to accept it. I could list the way my ego struggles to accept but don’t have enough time, ha ha. Strangely enough, ten years ago I couldn’t even see this tendency in myself. The spiritual journey has brought me face-to-face with my non-acceptance.
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I think realizing my own nonacceptance helped me some. Thought I’d spread the introspection into the cyber world. After I read your blog about learning to just ‘be’, I’ve been trying to remind myself to do that when my anxiety knocks on the closed door and then tries to sneak in a window. 😉 Thanks for reading my introspection’s, Kathy.
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I try to do that, too, Lori. And I always enjoy coming over to read your thoughts.
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You’re so right! It’s hard to accept our own (perceived) shortcomings and it can make us unhappy if we fret about things we can’t change.
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I think even realizing my own nonacceptance has helped. Thanks for reading through my introspection’s, Anneli.
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At this point, I seem to be accepting aging okay. I figure while I can’t change the wrinkles and crinkles (since I’m not a fan of having surgery), I can treat my body well by exercising and eating healthy foods (with some chocolate, too, of course; let’s not be too crazy… 😉 ). But who knows how I’ll feel in 20 years? Hopefully the same.
“You’ve paid tens of thousands for something that’s going to rot in a grave, and it doesn’t look any better than wrinkles.”—Ha, I loved that line.
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The birthday that hit me was when I turned 46, and it has bothered me ever since. But, I’m thinking I can accept the sags now, as long as I can remain at least fairly healthy (considering I have some health issues). There is no way I’m ever giving up chocolate, because you know the saying, I’m no quitter. 🙂 Thanks for reading through my introspection’s, Carrie.
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“There is no way I’m ever giving up chocolate, because you know the saying, I’m no quitter.”—Ha! Best excuse to keep eating chocolate I’ve ever heard.
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