Without You

We used to be so carefree, you and me.
When we were together,
everything was fun.
The movies, parties, traveling.
Life had such vibrance.
Sometimes, we’d leave the house
at midnight and not return home
until sunrise.

We used to eat and drink
anything we pleased.
The worst thing to happen
was an occasional hangover
the next morning.
We didn’t mind, because it reminded us
of the merriment of our evening together.

Remember how we used to flirt?
Oh, how we loved to flutter our eyes
and smile that sly smile.

We’d sing out loud in the car, even with the windows open.
The wind flapping in our hair
gave us the sensation we were flying.
We felt free … independent.

Nothing seemed impossible.
Nothing
was
ever
going
to
change.

But it did.

You don’t come around as much these days.
When we do get together, you don’t stay as
as long as you used to.

Sometimes I see you at the gym.
You inspire me to get through my workout.
On the days you aren’t there,
I find it much more strenuous.

I see you out with those others,
going about joking and laughing together.
You took my energy with you and gave it to them.
They are all so beautiful,
and you have more fun with them now.

Without you, my evenings are dull.
Yet, somehow I find them peaceful and comforting.
I can’t even stay awake until midnight anymore,
let alone come home at sunrise.

If I eat the wrong foods, my stomach goes sour,
or my blood sugar spikes too high.
My physical eyes have blurred since you left.
Yet, my view of the world has become clearer.

On those rare times you do come around
we don’t flirt like we used to.
But, I still laugh just as much without you.
I’m wittier without you too.

On my own, I’m not so picky, nor as judgmental.
We used to gossip about others,
but I don’t do that anymore.
I’ve learned that we don’t always understand
other people’s circumstances in life.
I think, since you’ve stayed away more often,
I’ve grown wiser.

Sometimes I miss you,
and other times I’m grateful you’re gone.
You made me naïve,
and sometimes not so nice.

My dear sweet youth,
please be good to those others now.
Show them a good time, but don’t go overboard.
Try to balance those happy times
with responsibility.
We did okay in that department,
didn’t we?

I will miss you at times, sweet youth,
but I know there is a better life
in store for us, where someday
we will live together eternally.

by Lori (L. Virelli)

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