Before I Calm Down

Caveat: This was drafted on Friday the 13th, and is being posted today.

Okay, I’m writing on the fly right after a very frustrating event, so let’s see how this plays out with me just writing from emotion. I’m not calmed down yet, so here goes …

desp me 4 wmToday I need to learn to follow an old platitude that seems tired and worn, but can’t be discounted.

Letting go.

My husband and I understand that we can’t change our difficult circumstance, but we can change how we handle it. Except, right now, I feel like someone else is in control of our lives. Not just anyone else, but one incompetent person. Am I just being a control freak, or am I justified in feeling this way? Let’s see what you think.

Everything is going on schedule. We were ready for the next phase in his healing process, when someone interceded and hindered our forward progress.

For those unaware, my husband was seriously injured on the job back in April. On June 4th we were told by the doctor that the next phases of his healing process would be scheduled for June 18th, and the next for June 24th. I watched the doctor write it down in my husband’s chart as he spoke it aloud. We were told that someone would call us to schedule those procedures.

In brief, the scheduler never called. We called and left voice mail after voice mail, to no avail. On June 13th, we insisted the office staff get the scheduler on the phone. The scheduler answered and proceeded to tell us that there is no availability for those dates the doctor wrote down. We have no idea when he can move forward now. If this person would’ve called us when the doctor ordered the scheduling two weeks ago, would we have gotten in on the dates we were told? I don’t have an answer to that question.

How can my husband ever move forward in his healing/circumstance, if some incompetent is in charge of his forward progress? He is ready to move forward. The doctor has documented that he is ready to move forward. One person is controlling his life and holding him back.

How does one let go of control in this case? What does one do? I’m trying to dig inward and find a way to accept this circumstance and adjust my attitude. It isn’t working.

Have you ever dealt with someone else being in charge of your fate? If so, how did you handle it? Any suggestions for us?

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About Lori D

Observer, thinker, learner, analyzer and writer. Enjoy dogs, cooking, centering, laughing and sarcasm.
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25 Responses to Before I Calm Down

  1. territerri says:

    I have no advice for dealing with such a frustrating situation, unfortunately. The only thing I know is that the medical world is a big, tangled web. It’s often messy, and the players don’t communicate well with each other much less with their patients. I hope that this situation gets on track so your hubby can get on with his life.

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  2. Pingback: It works out in the end | Lori's Lane

  3. EllaDee says:

    You’re doing what I would do… drilling down – and up, making calls and asking for answers and results. Apart from those practical things, step away from the feelings and stress, and refer back to the post-it that says “LET IT GO” :)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Margarita says:

    Maybe, Lori, it’s the Universe saying your husband needs a little more time to move forward more strongly…just sayin’ xoxoM

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sorry you’re having to deal with this on top of everything else – we hope that when we’re ill we get the best care, but that’s not always the case. The lesson I learned from when my mother was sick was to always question (doctors don’t have all the answers and can make as many mistakes as anyone else) and to be assertive about asking for what you want. Oh, and to just live each day as it comes to be able to get through it all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lori D says:

      Oh yes, I bring my list of questions to appointments. And yes, you’re right, we need to live for the day, and not worry about the bigger picture right now. Thank you so much for your input, Miss Andrea.

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  6. Kathy says:

    How very frustrating! It is so challenging at times dealing with health care professionals when there are so many people involved. We discovered this sometimes with Barry’s health issues. Don’t have any advice except to stay with it, keep remembering that it’s you who must oversee the operation, take deep breaths, and think that maybe the Universe had a reason for wanting to delay this a bit? Just things that worked for me at times.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lori D says:

      Maybe the Universe put me in that scheduler’s path so someone could teach her to get her act together. Heh. Just kidding. I could tell the scheduler wouldn’t get it if the Universe knocked her upside the head. Sigh. One thing I do know, the Universe has a way of working things out in the end. I am truly grateful for your supportive input. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, Miss Kathy

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  7. Carrie Rubin says:

    I’m so sorry to hear that. Must be beyond frustrating. You could consider calling the scheduler’s supervisor to voice your concerns. You also might want to call the doctor’s office, let them know what happened, and see if an allowance can be made. Speaking from experience, often these things are frustrating to the physician as well, who doesn’t know what’s going on in the scheduling front. I know I’ve had to smooth things like that out many times in the past. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lori D says:

      Yes, the surgeon is fantastic. It’s the staff that’s giving us trouble. We talked to the scheduler today, who apparently has to have verbal approval from the surgeon? I don’t know. She says he didn’t have notes written down in the file either, but I saw him writing as he told us. I guess he was just doodling. :-P We’ll see what happens tomorrow. Thanks for reading and sharing your experience, Carrie.

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  8. It sounds like the doctor needs to handle this issue with the scheduler or you can go on the appointed date…I’ve been “worked in” many times. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lori D says:

      We let the scheduler know today our feelings about the way it’s been handled. We got the 18th, procedure cleared up, but not the one for next week yet. Wish us luck. Thank you for your input, Jill.

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  9. The scheduler dropped the ball. It is their problem, not yours. I would call and state that the two of you would be IN the office on the date the doctor scheduled you and would sit there until seen per doctors orders.
    Let the nurse tell the doctor you are waiting because the phone calls were not returned and the scheduler never set the date. Let him look in the chart to see what he wrote and let him retrain his staff.
    Take action. Let them know what you are going to do and proceed without fear to that office!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Go above the scheduler’s head. Sounds kind of harpy-ish but that person did not do their job and you are paying for it. All administrations do things in a “triage” style. Squeaky wheel gets the oil etc…Also everytime you get on the phone with someone ask for their name/employee ID and tell them you need it for your extensive notes you are keeping; then be very polite and friendly – works wonders

    Liked by 2 people

    • Lori D says:

      Hey, that’s a great idea about telling them I’m documenting everything. Today I talked to the scheduler again and actually recorded the call. We still don’t have a date scheduled, but I think we may be on the right track. I let her have it today. Thanks so much for your input.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. andy1076 says:

    oof, I’d keep insisting. The medical system has seriously been slipping on both sides of north America lately huh? :-\

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lori D says:

      We have insisted and will continue to do so. We may get some answers today, I hope. The surgeon we happened to get in the ER (on call), turned out to be the best in the area. We’re thankful for that, but his office staff is lacking. Thanks for the comment, Mr. Andy. :-)

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  12. Go back to the doctor and ask him to “do something”?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lori D says:

      The surgeon is in high demand. We’re lucky we can even get in to see him. We are lucky in the respect that in the ER we got assigned the best surgeon in the area for his injury. Unfortunately, his office staff is lacking.

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